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Chapter 25 – Seeking Answers
She was in the tower again, hanging by her wrists. Her toes only just brushed the floor as she swung back and forth from her chains.
He stood there in front of her, a leather strap in his hand, a look of malicious lust on his face. His gaze ran over her naked body, examining every crevice, every bump, curve and mound. The strap whistled through the air as he tested its weight in his hand.
'Please don't, please – I'll be good.'
He didn't speak, he didn't need to; the strap did his speaking for him. A firm hand spun her around so that she faced away from him – and the first blow fell on her behind.
She screamed and then the strap spoke again, falling mercilessly on her naked bottom.
Again and again the strap continued its whistling lecture as it plied its brutal savagery on her bottom. Her screams split the sky and reached the stars.
She prayed that it would never stop.
She knew that he would keep this up until she fainted; and then he would whip her breasts…
She flew bolt upright from her dream. Her room was still dark; dawn had not yet arrived. The diffused city lights glowing through her window shed eerie shadows throughout the room. Charlotte thought about returning to sleep, but he was waiting there in the dark behind her eyes: the man who punished her in her dreams. The man who had again made her betray her own body in the night.
Her new sleeper's crotch was soaked through. The white sheep on the blue flannel pyjamas seemed to mock her in the ghostly room. They looked as though they were ridiculing her for her transgressions. Afraid to go back to sleep and return to the tower, she slid her feet out from the sheets and placed her sleeper clad feet on the floor next to her bed.
A quick glance at her electronic merit board told her it was 4am - too early to get ready for the day. Instead she moved to her new television and DVD player. It had been waiting for her when she returned from her confession in Mr Campbell's study.
Emotionally distraught after her ordeal, she had changed into her new blue sheep patterned pyjamas and gone to bed immediately after her confession but not before Mr Campbell had promised her that a friend of his would be able to help her.
Now she was awake and afraid to return to sleep. She stood in front of the television and picked up the only DVD that had been sitting on the top of the player. The Little Mermaid.
Well she had to do something for the next few hours; she slid the DVD into the player and sat back on her bed.
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It seemed as though last night's confession hadn't altered Mr Campbell's wardrobe selection for the day. She'd heard the shutter behind the two-way wardrobe slide open from her bed. The Little Mermaid had finished some time ago and she had returned to reading "The Adventures of Isabelle."
On hearing the shutter open and then close she had gotten up from the bed and opened the wardrobe. Having arranged her clothes on the bed she dressed herself.
Virginal white would be one way to describe the dress. Apart from some pink chequered ruffles decorating the waistband, trimming the bib on the bodice, waving around the skirts and puffing the shoulders of her sleeves the entire dress was a startling white. The Peter Pan collar was trimmed with lace, as was the hem of her skirts. Two pink ribbons adorned the elasticised puffed sleeves and the final one sat at the bottom of the bibbed bodice.
On autopilot she pulled the dress over her head, pulled up the zip and tied the white sashes into a big bow behind her waist.
The opaque white stockings and pink Mary Janes finished off the outfit.
As she had finally buckled on her last shoe the door to her suite opened to reveal Mr Campbell. He let a red headed woman in a striking deep green coloured skirt suit into the room before closing the door behind him.
She stood almost six foot tall in her green stiletto heels. Her piercing blue eyes contrasted starkly with her deep auburn hair and the green outfit. She walked into the bedroom, carefully considering the newly dressed Charlotte.
"Charlotte, this is Jane. She is a very dear family friend, the daughter of my father's former partner Mr Thompson. She also happens to be an excellent psychologist. I thought that the two of you might want to have a chat after what you told me last night. You can tell her everything that you told me. Is that all right? Would you like me to stay?"
Jane cut in before Charlotte could answer: "Actually Frank, that wouldn't be a very good idea. Depending on how we go I might get you to come back in later, but for now it would be best if you left us alone. Is that okay Charlotte?"
"I guess so." Charlotte responded from her seat at the end of her bed.
"Okay, well just call out if you need anything. I'm not going into work today so I'm here if either of you need anything, anything at all." He reluctantly left the room, taking a final look at Charlotte as he closed the door leaving her and Jane alone in the young girl's bedroom.
Jane stood in the centre of the room for a moment, looking on the seated girl in her virginal white dress, stockings and pink patent shoes.
"Charlotte, I want you to feel comfortable with me okay? I don't want you to feel threatened or uncomfortable. I can only help you if you trust me completely, alright?"
Charlotte nodded meekly.
"Can I sit down next to you?"
"Okay."
Jane slowly sat down next to Charlotte on the bed and started speaking. "Well I know a lot about you, but you probably don't know much about me. I want us to be friends Charlotte, so I'll start by telling you about myself, maybe that way you'll feel as if you know me a bit better. Is that okay?"
"Yes, I guess so."
"As Frank said, I'm an old family friend. I've also got a doctorate in psychology and a master's degree in feminism. I don't work anymore since I got married, but I occasionally do help out old-friends like Frank. I'm not here to 'cure' you, but to help you understand yourself. From what Frank told me you're very confused at the moment. Would that be right?"
"Sort of."
"What do you mean by 'sort of' Charlotte?"
"I don't know how I feel. Everything is just so strange."
"How is that?"
"Well I don't know. When I first came here I hated everything and everyone. Mr Campbell was stopping me being with my Dad, he didn't like the way I dressed or how I behaved. So he made me change some of those things, I really hated that. I just wanted to be me but he wouldn't let me."
"Go on." Jane prompted her to continue gently.
"And I still do hate it. I hate these dresses - they're silly. No one my age wears stuff like this, not even the sissiest of girls. I don't understand why he makes me wear them. At first I thought he was some kind of pervert, sometimes I still do think that. But aren't perverts supposed to do things to you? I mean you're his friend so I guess I really shouldn't say things like that to you."
"Not at all – Charlotte have you ever heard of the Doctor/Patient privilege?"
"Yeah – I think so. Doctors and stuff on 'Law and Order' say that's why they can't tell the cops where the bad guys are."
"Sort of. You see even though I'm not practising any more, I'm still not allowed to tell anyone, even Mr Campbell, anything about what we say to each other. If I did you could complain to the authorities and I would never be allowed to practice as a psychologist ever again, they'd take away my licence. Anything you don't want me to say to Mr Campbell I won't."
"Oh."
"So go on. You think Mr Campbell's a pervert?"
"I don't know. I thought so, but now I'm not sure. He hasn't done anything – you know – like that. But he's still – well - weird. Why is he doing this to me?"
"Have you asked him?"
"Yes, he said it's because I wasn't a proper lady, that I had to learn from scratch how I should behave. He said stuff about my mother and how I disgraced her memory. So he's been making me wear stuff like this and attend deportment lessons and he punishes me if I do anything wrong."
"How do you feel about these punishments Charlotte?"
"I hate them too." She looked away from Jane and down toward her lap as she said this.
"Do you really Charlotte? You can tell me the truth. Or else why did Mr Campbell call me here? He said you were afraid that you were becoming some sort of 'freak'. That there was something wrong with you. I assume that since he didn't take you to the hospital that you're not physically sick, rather that there's something eating at you. What is it?"
"It's difficult to explain."
"Try me. Don't worry, I'm your friend, you can tell me."
"I do hate the punishments. They hurt and they're so embarrassing – do you know he made me wear a diaper yesterday?" She asked in an outraged voice before continuing: "I hate them, and what they do to me."
"What do you mean, 'what they do to you', do you mean 'they' as in people or 'they' as in punishments?"
"The punishments. They… they… I – no, I mean it's like they get me, umm… I get – umm, well…" Jane sat there quietly waiting for Charlotte to get whatever it was off her chest.
"I get excited by them. You know – down there." She pointed down to her lap.
"I understand Charlotte. Sorry, I know this is difficult for you. What is it that excites you – the pain?"
"I think so, but it's more than that. The same thing happened yesterday when I was in the diaper. Oh god – this is so embarrassing!"
"It's okay, remember I won't tell anyone, this is between just you and me."
"He had me put in a diaper and I forgot to go to the toilet beforehand, they locked it on so I couldn't get out and eventually I wet myself. It's a long story but the short of it is that after I'd wet myself, while I was sitting there damp; I got excited.
"It's just disgusting. What sort of person am I if this happens? Mistress Heinz spanked me and the same thing happened. Mr Campbell punished me very badly the night before last," she explained the punishment panties and clamps, "they were supposed to teach me that I shouldn't get excited by being punished. He said that they were to remind me what it would feel like if I caught some horrible disease from having - you-know – sex with random strangers. But they didn't. I didn't even realise it at the time but when I got back to my room I found out that they had excited me too. What's wrong with me?"
"Do you like being humiliated Charlotte?"
She was shocked by the question, but Jane had asked it in such a way that she instinctively trusted the woman: "I don't know. I hate it, it's horrible, I feel so defenceless. But then I feel, I don't know, I feel something, I feel good. But that's not the right word. It's like I secretly want it to happen, like I deserve it or something. Does that make sense?"
Jane ignored Charlotte's question and asked one of her own: "What do you think of Mr Campbell?"
Charlotte sat quietly for a moment. "I don't know. He scares me sometimes, but I don't know why. I guess it's because he's in charge. He makes me do things that I really don't want to do, well I think I don't…"
Now Charlotte put into words something she'd barely even realised herself: "I've been dreaming about him. Well, it's not really him, its kind of him. Sometimes I dream about him and he's really Kyle. That's this boy I met at the basketball courts last school vacation. He was really cute.
"Anyway sometimes I dream of a man who is like Kyle, but then he turns into Mr Campbell and he does things to me in my dreams."
"What kind of things Charlotte?"
"Well he ties me up so that I'm helpless. Then he hurts me. But I like it. I don't know… What's wrong with me?" Charlotte looked pleadingly into Jane's deep blue eyes.
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