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A Life of Slavery Author: toiletslut
(Added on Aug 18, 2002) (This month 73117 readers) (Total 153641 readers)
The complete story of a girl lured into a hot lesbian loving night just to find afterward she would slowly be turned into a slave... a slave that would do ANYTHING. And I mean anything, absolutely anything.

Ratings and Reviews:
Number of Ratings: 10
3 Votes
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0% 10% 30% 10% 20% 20% 10% 0% 0% 0%
Weighed Average (?): (4.5/10)
Average Rating: (4.5/10)
Highest Rating: (7/10)
Lowest Rating: (2/10)

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Reviewer: tragedy3 (Edit) Rating: Feb 2, 2006
the story concept is good, but was very poorly written. (2/10)

Reviewer: BigCat (Edit) Rating: Aug 5, 2005
Wow, that's heavy stuff. (6/10)

Reviewer: Dododecapod (Edit) Rating: May 20, 2005
The concept wasn't bad. The execution was very, very poor.
Your writing is without guile or mystery. Your descriptions are pedestrian at best; they neither arouse nor excite. I would have called it primary-school level, save that I know primary students with a better vocabulary.
Your choice of the first person was not a good one; it is the more difficult POV, and you aren't good enough to take advantage of it.
I would seriously consider a writing class before you try anything more. (3/10)

Reviewer: headhunter (Edit) Rating: Apr 12, 2005
A good start to a story, but very badly written (5/10)

Reviewer: diamondgirl1313 (Edit) Rating: Mar 22, 2005
I think you did and look forward to more of your stories whether in this catagory or others? (7/10)

Reviewer: gojack10 (Edit) Rating: Apr 7, 2004
Too much story, written too fast. Needs devolpment and believability. Needs more thought and more time in writing good enough story. (4/10)

Reviewer: mkemse (Edit) Rating: Mar 10, 2004
was a good read, could have been and should have been better, had the making's of a real hot story but fails (5/10)

Reviewer: ladys_maid (Edit) Rating: May 11, 2003
Fair enough story but, as earlier reviewers have mentioned, it never comes close to realising its potential due to poor structuring and lack of the details that would bring a story like this to life. (3/10)

Reviewer: veru_skjava (Edit) Rating: Aug 25, 2002
I have to agree with Jacen, definitely proofreading is needed, and the lack of details makes it seem like the author hurried through it. I found myself feeling like I had been robbed of much. Premise is workable. I suggest the author visit/post in the forums for assistance. (3/10)

Reviewer: Jacen (Edit) Rating: Aug 19, 2002
This one left me with mixed feelings. I suspect the author is not a native english speaker, and the text would be much improved by simple editing. content is on the cliche-ic side, and presented in a hard and fast way, vs the more detailed descriptions I thrive on.. yet this story was worth reading. once. (6/10)

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