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Drive By
Author: Trapper
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(Added on Feb 11, 2003)
(This month 58618 readers) (Total 79587 readers) |
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A slave trader spots a lovely middle aged mother and then discovers her virgin 16 year old cheer leader daughter and her stunning friend. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (4.5/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (5/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
D. Atrocity
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 19, 2004 |
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Overall, you have a wonderful story here that could send my heart hammering but it lacks some key things:
1st: Don't switch from third person. Decide how you want to write and stay with that style.
2nd: If you need a beta reader for grammar and such, get one. They are very helpful. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 10, 2004 |
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great concept should have been a better story (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
Tractortorture
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 18, 2003 |
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Enjoyed the plot of the story, but felt the 2nd half was spoiled, as the changes in perspective didn't work. However was a good effort & is better to be over, rather than under ambitious. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
anguisette
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 11, 2003 |
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It would have been an OK story except for the utterly annoying shifts from first to third person and lack of decent grammar. (3/10)
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About 