|
|
|
|
|
Forcing Desire
Author: LaJan
|
| |
(Added on Nov 8, 2003)
(This month 9490 readers) (Total 26746 readers) |
| |
...a rape story about a crime of opportunity. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
33% |
33% |
33% |
0% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 16, 2004 |
| |
the "theme" is great, although i do not condone rape at anytime for any reason, thank god for fantasy (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Faibhar
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 10, 2003 |
| |
Beginning a piece with a perjorative, e.g., "shit" was something of a rough start, but the slang actually set the tone for a consistently accurate piece of fiction. The writer's ability to have the place the reader in the center of the action proved unflagging.
And as for "ignorance", well that's something plenty of us share in common. The errors sited in your piece did not detract from the body whole of the story, so they should be relegated to just further proofing, etc. The "7" was accorded because of them, but in no way indicates displeasure from this reader.
Your prompt reply to this Review is appreciated and continued good success with future compositions. (7/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
LaJan
(Edit) (Nov 8, 2003)
- Your comments and generous vote are greatly appreciated. I wasn't all that thrilled with the first word, either, but nothing else seemed to "create the character" as quickly. I really appreciate your attention to the piece's detail to accuracy as I reworked it many times in hope of achieving that goal. However, as soon as I posted it and read it here, I saw so many errors that I almost laughed out loud, for instance: "And, with her free hand, she reached between our legs and guided my still soaked pussy over my still rock-hard cock." I will need to resubmit it with greater anatomical accuracy (or rework the story to make the "male" hermaphoditic!) I was a bit concerned that, since the last time I posted, the coding for 'rape' has been removed from the site. I changed my profile's message to warn people of what they would be reading. Hopefully, the hate mail will just be regarding the usage of the perjorative in the opening. (By the way, my dictionary doesn't even have the word "perjorative" listed in it. Thanks for explaining what it means and helping me avoid looking as ignorant as I actually am...)
Peace.
LaJan
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
GaryWilcox
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 8, 2003 |
| |
I am now a big fan of LaJan. This was highly enjoyable and beleievable. The characters are believable. If you want any criticism, look to dialogue, I think, but other than that, I like it. (8/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
LaJan
(Edit) (Nov 8, 2003)
- I greatly appreciate your review and high vote of approval. The characters were modeled around people I know but I didn't have a good model for the male lead (thankfully). As for the questionable dialogue, your criticism is (unfortunately) accurate and it is the factor of story writing in which I am the least comfortable. I am working on it by being a better listener to people's conversations but your comment indicates I certainly have my work cut out for me. I sure appreciate knowing you are a 'fan'. That really makes my efforts feel much more worthwhile.
Peace.
LaJan
|
|
|
About 