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A Favour for a Friend
Author: Marshall Wade
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(Added on Aug 20, 2004)
(This month 78243 readers) (Total 115059 readers) |
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Do a friend a favour and you may end up with unexpected results. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 2 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (8/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Ranai
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 5, 2005 |
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Fun!! The different perspectives are well achieved; though the sequence of events gets jumbled at times, and I usually prefer single perspective or omniscient third person narrative. The unorthodox paragraph use is a real drawback. I definitely recommend editing and re-submitting the story when you have time, or ask for an editor. If you follow the usual rules about paragraphs (especially in dialogue), you make your readers very happy.
Please don't throw away a good plot idea too fast. The slaves get those nice nipple rings, but the master hardly plays with them. The theme of the masochistic mistress and the traumatised slave who is supposed to pleasure her has potential for development and could be the stuff of an entire separate story. After the initial rape-in-bondage, might not there be some more occasions for those male slaves to take it up the ass, apart from a cathartic post-caning frenzy? Institutionalised slavery is a wonderful story theme. If a character gets the power advantage it offers, it's enormous fun to watch him use it. The tension drops too fast if that power is waived. So less Paradise and a little more slave-terrorising does this kind of story a world of good. ;-) Thank you, M.W. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
littleslut
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 29, 2004 |
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a very high quality story with a well written plot (9/10)
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