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The Conspiracy
Author: 007
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(Added on Jul 23, 2005)
(This month 119248 readers) (Total 160556 readers) |
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medieval torture story. caution!!! very heavy !!! |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 8 |
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13% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
bush2bush
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 4, 2007 |
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The torture scenes was good - the history part and the writing skills more doubtfull (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
susankarl
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 24, 2006 |
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Apart from a reluctance to divide the print into smaller paragraphs, this was a story I thoroughly enjoyed because of the intensity of the tortures.
Why are there no more tales by 007 with similar delightful savagery?
More please. Susan.
(7/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 26, 2005 |
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just ok and please do spel check before posting (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
ropeburn
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 26, 2005 |
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"took a brake for himself". That should be "break"
" Her nipples a formless peace of flesh". Umm, did you mean "piece"?
"She spent the hole day thinking". Try "whole" day.
" tortured a 27 year old woman in Bretain without any brakes for 17 hours". It's "breaks", not brakes. Brakes are what you use to stop your car. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
Dododecapod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 26, 2005 |
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Good torture scenes, reasonable imagery, and quite sexy - once I was able to decipher it.
There are basic rules to writing, things like starting each sentence with a capital letter, starting a new paragraph whenever someone speaks - come to that, USING paragraphs. These rules exist for a REASON, to make it easy to read text. Your lack of their use converts what could have been an excellent piece to one that is near unreadable.
Your spelling is also poor. Clearly, you have used a spellchecker, but those don't catch homonyms or misspellings that create a different word - for the record, it's BREAK not brake, among others.
You have good instincts, and excellent ideas. Pay a little more atention to the CRAFT of writing and you will find yourself getting much better reviews. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
Mad Lews
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 24, 2005 |
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The story itself is good. The torments and tortures are extreme but it is fiction. The English well it needs work. Sometimes you seem to have it down and then other times you need a helpful editor. English is a tough language to master. Keep writing. You have but to ask and you'll find people willing to give you some editing help. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
Breannefun
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 23, 2005 |
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First of all, I realize that English is not the author's first language, so my only recommendation is to find an editor who will help you. There were multiple grammarical errors. Lets leave it at that. As for the story line, it made for an interesting plot. You might try to build suspense by making more detailed descriptions of the scene, as well as the action taking place. The other thing would be to stretch the torture over a few more days. In any event, it was a nice beginning. Let me know if you need an editor! (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
lex ludite
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 23, 2005 |
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Give me a brake! While I'm at it, learn how to spell Huguenot. It's painfully obvious that your native tongue is not English, but I'll give you credit for trying. Now to the tortures; way over the top and almost totally unbelievable. Florance would never have lasted as long as you had her survive. I particularly was astonished about all the weight she managed to hold without splitting into two portions while on the spanish donkey. Last time I looked, 10 kilos was about 22 pounds American. You do the math and tell me that wasn't a bit over the top. As for those gargantuan paragraphs, UGH! If I so much as blinked I lost my place. All in all an honest attempt to write a historical torture story, but so badly flawed by the typos, awkward phrasing and strange variations of spelling and grammar to force this reader to give it a less than average rating. (4/10)
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- Replied by:
Breannefun
(Edit) (Jul 23, 2005)
- Lex, you are certainly a good author. I've usually enjoyed your work. You are also a good judge of other's artistic endeavors. But...do you have to be so negative? I mean, it's one thing to critique someone, and offer genuine advice to improve their story, and another to insult them and degrade them. You may be a master of writing stories, but you sure make people feel awful. I get a dirty feeling everytime I read one of your reviews. Can you lighten up? You knowledge is vast and you could REALLY help some of these authors!
- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Jul 23, 2005)
- It has been my experience that most writers totally ignore reviews. Most reviews that I read are empty shells that contain no help to a struggling author.
My current philosophy is to try to review new authors since the rest of them are beyond reaching, either because they are really good or really bad. I can give you some great examples of both classes if you are interested.
If you have the time to offer your services to clean up this mess, more power to you, but is this particular author worth it? I don't believe in spoon feeding some author who decides he or she can write! However I try to show the good as well as the bad in their efforts.
You may be one of those people who thinks that the glass is always half full, that's fine. I also like to let budding talents know that there is still a missing half to their deathless or dreadful prose.
I have been constantly assaulted by people like yourself who complain about how nasty I am to these little flowers. If you think my early experiences dealing with egotistical buffoons who couldn't spell their own names going up one side of me and down the other was a bed of roses, think again.
However the one or two good reviews that told it like it was were the ones that turned me into a writer rather than a finger painter. I am just trying to repay those people for their efforts. Just remember, that which doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.
By the way I once did a break down of my ratings and found them to average a bit over 7 with less than five percent receiving marks of 2 or below. The last time I looked, 7 was a fairly decent rating, at least I as an author always was happy to get one.
- Replied by:
Lady Lance
(Edit) (Jul 24, 2005)
- Kudos for being man enough to be honest. I haven't posted anything on here, but have written enough other stuff that I dearly value one letter like yours over five "Good job!" ones
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