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Tali's Tears Author: justin benedict
(Added on Nov 13, 2005) (This month 12020 readers) (Total 27160 readers)
Tali's Master Fenton, decides to get a job!

Ratings and Reviews:
Number of Ratings: 1
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Weighed Average (?): (5.5/10)
Average Rating: (6/10)
Highest Rating: (6/10)
Lowest Rating: (6/10)

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Reviewer: nikita (Edit) Rating: Nov 19, 2005
Justin, before I rated this story, I looked to see what else you've written and was surprised at the number of stories you've written, several with high scores. I'm not normally a 'hard' reviewer, in fact, sometimes my critques run along the 'wuss' side.
This story has so much potential. It has enough fodder to create a serial type story. But it looks like you wanted to jump through the scenes a paragraph at a time...leaving the reader with a 'gone home hungry after dinner out' feeling.
Shame! Please re-write it. I was sooo looking forward to full descriptions of at least ONE of the scenes, as a satisfying appetizer for more.
Finally, fire your proofreader.
I wish you could have gotten a higher score. If you resubmit it, please email me and I will be happy to review it again and adjust my rating accordingly.
(6/10)

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