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My new life with my step sister
Author: brian mullany
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(Added on Dec 6, 2006)
(This month 68673 readers) (Total 90815 readers) |
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a brother becomes the slave to his step-sister after there parents are killed in a car accident |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (4/10) |
| Average
Rating: (4/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (1/10) |
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| Reviewer:
abitbent
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 10, 2006 |
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The ideas are a good start, but I have to agree that the grammar and spelling is atrocious. Don't be discouraged by the bad reviews and perhaps take a little more time writing. Be descriptive and proof read it slowly. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
Blackbird
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 9, 2006 |
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It really turned me on, it's a great fantasy, I wish you would have written more and I would really like to see more. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
slaveneedledick
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 8, 2006 |
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Yes the other reviewer have hit on the head. Inproper use of words made the story a bit harder to read. I liked the plot though. It has potential if you get a proof reader. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
Rocky
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 7, 2006 |
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I have to agree with the first reviewer. It's much more than "some misspellings." Actually, they weren't misspellings, but rather improper word use. "There" instead of "their" was probably the most common. You see, spell checkers only look at whether the word is spelled correctly, not whether it is the right choice. The same goes with the grammar. No punctuation in some statements by the characters? It's like they're just mumbling disjointed words rather than really speaking. Poor development of an extremely over-used plot as well. No character development to speak of, either. All in all, if your intent was to paint a picture of the scene in my mind - which should be the goal of all authors - you did a very poor job. (1/10)
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| Reviewer:
jip
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 7, 2006 |
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Well ok, there are some mispellings, but the story itself is good. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
schoolboylv
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 6, 2006 |
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I'm sorry, your writing is not that bad, but there are so many mispellings and grammar mistakes that I cannot even read this short first part. Get an editor and I'll re-review. (1/10)
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