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Susan Gets a Delivery
Author: JEP
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(Added on Apr 9, 2008)
(This month 101492 readers) (Total 158117 readers) |
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Susan was used to treating people with complete disdain and disrepect. The tables were about to be turned on her. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (8/10) |
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 1, 2009 |
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After all the praise this story got, especially by our main man Lex, it came as a bit of a surprise to yours truly that the start of the story was, to say the least, a bit awkward.
Nothing to do with the storyline, but with the grammar, syntax and some descriptions. Like using three times 'her' in one short sentence, or saying that Susan's breasts "were not mammoth-size and yet they accented her beauty", which tells us that usually, breast have to be mammoth-sized to accent beauty?
Oh, and it should be "accentuate" instead of "accented".
But I persevered and came to the conclusion that, despite all the flaws and errors, this still is a very enjoyable read, but I won't go as far as stating that the writer is truly gifted. Yet.
I'll have a go at JEP's other submissions first.
JJ (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
lex ludite
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 11, 2008 |
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An excellent effort by a gifted writer. Lots of heat, a great cast of characters, all the necessary ingredients for this superb tale of retribution. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
jep33
(Edit) (Jan 1, 2009)
- Thank you for the review. As always, I value your words immensely. You were a big help to me in the beginning of my efforts to write. I apologize for the late reply, I had trouble getting on to the site for awhile.
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| Reviewer:
gnuman
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 15, 2008 |
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Excellent beginning. I anxiously await how he gets her off the table. (10/10)
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- Replied by:
jep33
(Edit) (Apr 15, 2008)
- Many thanks for the good review. Well, I thought I had the table dismount worked out but now you've made me think I need to make it a bit more exotic. More chapters are in the making.
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 15, 2008 |
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great start, hope you add more soon
Glad to hear that, they can't be posted soon enough (9/10)
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- Replied by:
jep33
(Edit) (Apr 14, 2008)
- Thanks for the kind words. More adventures for Susan are being formulated.
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