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Jade's Extraordinary Sufferning
Author: PalmCivet
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(Added on Apr 27, 2008)
(This month 66583 readers) (Total 96820 readers) |
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Jade is a slave who is in the basement dungeon of her master, Jake. This is part one of a longer story. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
turgid
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 4, 2008 |
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Not smooth, too short, actions are not explicit. Needs detail. Good scene, potential. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
Jack Schitt
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 3, 2008 |
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Great Story....I'm going to try some of the moves on my sub soon! I'm anxiously awinting the next chapter! 7 (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 30, 2008 |
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The story does not flow--very stilted writing. I think this stems from you attempting to write in the first person AND in present tense. That is combo that very rarely works. (4/10)
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