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| Ratings and Reviews: |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (8/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (8/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Dryhill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 13, 2010 |
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i really, really, really wanted to give this story a ten rating but two things stopped me and both are to do with dates.
FIRSTLY:
The story starts on August 31st 2026 just 16 years in the future. The story has robotaxi's and some form of powerful yet portable comms unit and an incredible change in legislation.
Concerning the technological items, perhaps this will be the case by 2026 but i can remember, in the 1950's, being told we would all travel everywhere by small helicopters - i am still waiting. i also remember in the 1960's everyone thought that by the year 2000 computers would enable us to only work three days a week (but still earn a full weeks salary) - oh God what went wrong?
Concerning the junta, the UK has gone over over 350 years without a revolution it could happen but does seem unlikely. To get such quick changes to the law will require a dictatorship as parliment takes years to introduce/change laws. And the UK is now subject to a lot of European legislation especially regarding human rights and equel rights.
Setting this story a bit further in the future, say two hundred years, would have made the story more plausible for me.
SECONDLY:
Right at the beginning we are told it is August 31st and that Laura is (just) 16 years old, meaning she was probably born in July/August 2010 (a few months from now). Later in the story Laura's gran mentions wearing scholl uniforms in the 1990's.
Now if Laura's mother was 20 when Laura was born and gran was 20 when mother was born, gran would have been born sometime in 1970 meaning she would not have been at school in the 1990's (rest assured i have been working for sometime on these calculations using log tables and a slide rule plus a ream of paper). My point here is that straight away the dates jarred and distracted me from the story. It would have been much easier for gran to have simply stated she wore a similar uniform when she went to school.
I really do like this story and there is plenty of solid detail to enable us to form a mental picture of the main characters. i particularly like the legislative detail about the colour of the collar and cuffs and also about the temperature when someone has to go naked outside - for those unfortunate not to live in this most wonderful of countries i should tell you the average high temperatures for May and Sepember are 17 and 19 celsius respectively so only the months of June, July and August have average temperatures above 20 celsius - make this a thoughly good read. Thanks obohobo, i look forward to reading your other stories. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 21, 2010 |
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I recently did an in depth analysis/review of your story on my blog at www.michaelalexanderstories.blogspot.com. I enjoyed the work and plan on reading the rest of the series. (8/10)
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