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| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 5 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (9/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (8/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Kvothe
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 9, 2012 |
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I really enjoyed the story so far. As others have mentioned the beginning isn't all that great but I think that part was better as told from Dave's view than it would have been from Victoria's. chapter three on after the rules were set were very good and I'm looking forward to see what happens next. Hope you continue writing and thanks for what you have already written. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Assynt
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 26, 2012 |
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I have been following this story for quite a while and I have thoroughly enjoyed it. It is well written and has a clever and unexpected plot. I like the element of pathos: a girl is cured of her obesity but has to 'join the company'. The girl who was saved from a malignancy but at a very significant price. "Dave" appears to be using alien technology to hael his victims and to subjugate them but why on earth (pardon the word play) is he doing it? Also, his latest behavior suggests he has gone native in a big way and left behind any altruistic intentions in favour of physical enjoyment of his slaves. So, G Master here is one reader at least who would like to see you finish the tale. I am looking forward very much to the next episode. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
G Master
(Edit) (Jun 30, 2012)
- Thank you for your very positive comments, and I'm pleased that you're enjoying it. The first two parts were written from Dave's standpoint.
From the comments I subsequently received, which were lost when the site went down in 2009, I chose to continue it as told by Victoria, the subject, from Part 3 onwards. Thus Dave takes more of a back seat.
Two further episodes have been written and will appear at intervals. Further episodes will appear as and when I have the time to write them.. it can be very time consuming, especially as there is no possibility of third party proof reading.
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| Reviewer:
Curtis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 18, 2012 |
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I was unimpressed by parts one and two two years ago, but parts three and four appealed to me greatly.
EDIT: And with Parts Five and Six I'm again less impressed. I'm down to wondering what the point of this will be. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
G Master
(Edit) (Apr 18, 2012)
- Thank you for commenting, I would welcome more reviews.
However, can I, with respect, ask you to read the site's review guide? Constructive comments are useful for an author, and yours aren't very useful in that respect. A story's content is unlikely to appeal to everyone. Further parts are already written, and will appear in due course.
- Replied by:
Curtis
(Edit) (Aug 23, 2012)
- Yes, I can see your point about my review not being helpful. A general 'it didn't appeal to me' is meaningless, therefore, let me try to be more specific. By the end of chapter six, which was where I quit reading, the story appeared to be without a purpose. I was unable to determine what sort of a story you were trying to tell. Whatever type that is, it no longer holds my interest, and I just wandered by here today by mistake. (The site doesn't inform me when there are replies to my reviews, and I'm no longer able to access my old reviews to see for myself, so the chance of my ever reading a reply has become remote.)
- Replied by:
Curtis
(Edit) (Aug 23, 2012)
- Yes, I can see your point. about my review not being helpful. A general 'it didn't appeal to me' is meaningless, therefore, let me try to be more specific. By the end of chapter six, which was where I quit reading, the story appeared to be without a purpose. I was unable to determine what sort of a story you were trying to tell. Whatever type that is, it no longer holds my interest, and I just wandered by here by mistake. (The site doesn't inform me when there are replies to my reviews, and I'm no longer able to access my old reviews to see for myself, so the chance of my ever reading a reply has become remote.)
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 12, 2010 |
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Would have liked the story more should it have been told from a third person perspective, instead of by the inventor of the title's device.
Furthermore, I also feel that there's too many instances where the author falls back on some rather 'convenient' twists to make things fit.
Nothing to call the fire brigade over, but a nice read nevertheless.
JJ (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Snark
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 12, 2010 |
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Nicely done! Imaginative, original and well edited (I can rarely make that statement and it is nice to do so.) While it does stretch the suspension of disbelief...it does so gently. Most stories here do that. It look forward to more chapters and missives from the participants (9/10)
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