|
|
|
|
|
The Leather Shop
Author: young_love_
|
| |
(Added on May 9, 2010)
(This month 57075 readers) (Total 74348 readers) |
| |
A girl goes with her friend to a leather goods shop and finds some interesting articles. She is persuaded to try a few. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 10 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
20% |
40% |
20% |
10% |
10% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (7.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
A_little_too_curious
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 29, 2010 |
| |
I personally found nothing wrong with it. I can see why others would want it longer, but I liked the quick ending. Unlike most people, I like a story that leaves things open to the imagination. It means I can take what you've given me, and tailor it in my head to suit my tastes and satisfy whatever fantasy I have.
Thank you! (10/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
bracemaiden
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 18, 2010 |
| |
A fun, but short romp. As per the other reviewers, the rating may rise with story length. (8/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
flageek
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 15, 2010 |
| |
As a beginning of a longer story it was a very good start. I look forward to a continuation or second story. Please continue writing the characterization was good and the pacing was excellent! (7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Major Littmann
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 10, 2010 |
| |
I loved this gentle story, ok it doesn't involve any non consent just two friends playing and having fun and for me this breaking the mould, casting aside the norm of sudden brutalisation is what makes this story sweet and credible (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Dryhill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 10, 2010 |
| |
i totally agree with the first three reviewers, and am expecting to up my review when we get an ending to this story. (6/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Dryhill
(Edit) (May 21, 2011)
- Just re-read the story and still stick to my earlier comment and rating. Come on Young Love let us have some more.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
cheapskate
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 10, 2010 |
| |
As others have noted, it is a bit short and could have done with a preceding scene to allow for character development and it needs to go somewhere interesting from where it ends. Please keep writing. (7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
AlbusLupa
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 10, 2010 |
| |
Going to give it a slightly higher review score like the story very much ! Left me really wanting to hear more. And I do disagree with Maestropretoriano. The char are a little shallow yes but with the story length it is fairly fitting. Hope this story give you lust for writing more.
As for what is said about the clerk I think that is entierly up to the writer. I think it worked well we get to know the clothing is going to be brought after his intervention growing a little more suspence. And gives the main char a reason to think and feel even more worried about her possion.
Reason I rate it at, only 8 is that it is unfinished as it stands. But a very good start if there come following parts I would have no trouble going higher. (8/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Maestropretoriano
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 10, 2010 |
| |
I agree with most the previous reviewers said. This is a great beginning for a longer story, but, as a whole story itself, seems more like a haiku that stops once the reader thinks the fun is about to start.
So, I encourage the author to go and develop his idea and plot, because I'm sure we gonna enjoy it (7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 10, 2010 |
| |
I'm going to give this story a slightly higher rating than the previous reviewer, but I have to echo their complaint. The author here has the ability to write, and write well. The problem comes from story construction. Consider what makes a story. You have characters, setting, and plot. In this case, the plot was the narrator's submission to her friend Karen. Part of what makes a plot good is story tension, which was built up rather well here with the additional pieces of leather bondage gear. Where things went wrong is when we didn't get to the climax. In fact, we were heading up the story arc quite nicely and then it was all pulled out from under us. Why the hell did the clerk say "you can't use the gags, you'll have to buy it" instead of "do you need a hand?" Why didn't Karen strip the narrator of the story right there? Why didn't she get whipped (or was the mention of crops not foreshadowing?) Everything was going really well and then WHAM we get kicked out the door without anything being resolved.
*** Okay, its possible this is a serial. I hate serials. Writing a serial is actually harder than writing a complete tale because every "episode" or "chapter" or "part" has to be a self-contained story in and of itself that also moves along an over reaching arc plot. Consider the television show 24. Each episode is a self-contained story that has tension, plot arc, and climax followed by either resolution or cliffhanger. If this story is a serial, its missing the second half of the first episode. That irritates readers.
*** So my recommendation is for the author to try again. Don't scrap any of this until you get to the clerk being an asshole. Make him a character, give the narrator a major fun time, maybe a decent whipping, some awesome three way sex, and THEN have her escorted out in her finery on a leash. Then this will be a ten, and not a seven. Michael Alexander (www.michaelalexanderstories.com)
(7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
suissepervert
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 10, 2010 |
| |
This piece could be a nice start to a longer story. But it looks like this will be all, in this way it is way too short to get a better rating. The story stops at the point where it is getting interesting and it lacks in background on the two characters. But apart from this it wasn't bad. The author can extend this to a better one. (6/10)
|
|
|
About 