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Selling four
Author: Mike thomson
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(Added on May 15, 2010)
(This month 53045 readers) (Total 64938 readers) |
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career slave sells herself at her Master's direction |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
sockslut
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 9, 2010 |
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I agree with the others. Good story idea, interesting read, but left us hanging. It needs more. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Losalt
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 26, 2010 |
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A very good start but in it's current condition it's not enough on it's own.
Mostly I agree with Michael247 here.
Not sure if I agree about the change of POV that he's suggesting..
But I'm no good as a writer.. so what do I know about that...
At any rate continue the story and I'm sure it'll improve and also deserve a better rating then I've currently given it. :-) (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Dryhill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 22, 2010 |
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An original storyline for a change, but left wanting something more. This will be a good start to an ongoing story as long as there is more to come, otherwise it leaves one a bit in the air. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 21, 2010 |
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This was a fascinating refreshing change from the usual fare here at the BDSM Library. We are treated to the private musings of four, an experienced sex slave who is in the process of selling herself because her master no longer desires her services. This is a fresh plot and I admit that it was tantalizing. Unfortunately, despite the incredible build up in tension, the story didn't quite develop a respectable climax.
*** Story arcs are pretty simple. There is usually some sort of problem or challenge that the character or characters must solve. We follow the characters through the process of resolving the problem. When things look really bad, the character either succeeds wildly, or fails miserably. This is then followed by a resolution (or in extreme cases a cliffhanger moment.) In "Selling Four" the author did a fantastic job building up sexual tension, establishing a challenge, and taking us along for the ride. But where was the climax? Was it the actual auction? If it was, then all of the tension of "selling four" went right out the window. Or was the climax the revelation that four was about to be whipped by six? If so, then why didn't we get to witness it? And in retrospect, is it smart to whip the property of another master?
*** I liked getting this story in first person. It made it more intimate, as if I were really reading four's most private thoughts. This was an excellent perspective to write this story and kudos to the author for doing it.
*** My biggest issue was the split between the sales pitch and the actual auction. In fact, for just a wild moment, I wondered if the story was actually real. I mean seriously, November 1st, 2010 is only a few months away. I actually wondered if I could steal 250,000 from somewhere... oh never mind. But then the story continued at the auction and I was just a tad bit disappointed. I mean seriously, I would have bought four. It might have been fun. Anyway I found the whole auction scene very incongruous with the rest of the story. Partly because it was no longer a personal communication from four to potential buyers, but four's recollections of the auction and her last punishment. That said, it would have been better to make a massive change in either POV or person, in order to delineate the differences between the personal sales pitch and the auction resolution. Frankly, I think that so much more could have been included in the sales pitch, with four telling about certain sexual bdsm events that she has endured. Maybe even a fake interview? Oh well.
*** I thought the writing was pretty good. There weren't any seriously distracting errors and the sentence structure, grammar, and formatting was all done relatively well. This is really nice considering some of the submitted stories on this website.
*** In summary, I thought this story was refreshing, and if it had just contained a climax with some meat...uh...I mean pussy, I would have been ready to hand over a higher rating. This story had me hard, and then left me that way.
Michael Alexander (www.michaelalexanderstories.com) (8/10)
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