Here is the story of 1 year of my life as a cyberslave. It was a very intense relationship which ended unfortunately. About 3 years later, I still think about it and if I share this story today it’s because I hope some readers might take interest in me and maybe become my cybermaster.
A few years ago, i posted an ad on the internet. It was saying:
"19yo boy looking for pain and humiliation. Send me your request of what
disgusting or painful stuff I should do to x10x10@hotmail.com. I'll do
it and then send you pictures or a video".
I received quite a few replies. Things like this:
« Damn I just can not resist such a challenge. Things I would like to see you do:
1. Get your cock hard and then hold your piss slit open and drop in 6
drops of tobasco
2. Using a G clamp on your left Nut lift a 5 pound weight with the clamp
and hold it suspended. If the clamp falls off it was obviously not
tight enough
3. Go into a chat room and piss all over your face on cam.
4. Scrub the inside of your asshole with your toothbrush (make sure you
clean it all) then clean your teeth with it.
That will do for now « :) »
or
“Saw your post above on newsgroups. I'm keen to test your limits. I'll send you one instruction at a time and when you get back to me I'll follow with another.
First, get a 1 metre plastic tube and a funnell, then get naked. Then I would like to see you lie on a bed with your head on the floor. Place one end of the tube in your mouth and attach the tube to the funnel. Piss (and save up to do this) directly into the funnel and let the fluid run directly into your mouth and stomach. Don't spill a drop so take it easy. Finished - lick the funnell clean. Very simple task to start with - love a couple pictures and describe the taste and colour of your piss. This task is best done with your first piss of the day - more flavour. Hear from you and I'll follow with another more discusting/humilating task.”
I received a few tasks, did them but it never folloed by a real relationship. Until I received this email :
“Hey pig boy. I want to see a pic or video of you pissing all over a bowl of cereal and then eating it...to include drinking the residue from the bowl.”
Nothing really new. So I did it, sent my video, and received another email.
“Good boy. You are a good pig. If I were there I would pat you on the head and praise you...then I would torment you some more. Here is your next assignment bitch....
I want you to insert a dildo (you can substitute another inanimate object if you don't own a good sized dildo) into your fuck hole. Do it when you have to shit. Insert it deep enough that it gets dirty...real dirty. Yep you guessed it fuck face...lick the dildo clean. Do not let any escape your mouth...swallow all your mud.
If you do well I will have more torture for you.”
I have to say that at this moment I started to feel there was something different with him, I liked the way He was talking to me and thought that He could well become my Master. But it was yet too soon to be sure. This followed :
“you are a good pigboy. you did exactly what I expected. I am very proud of you. I want you to tell me about yourself. Age? Location (don't worry I won't stalk you) and availablility of others to take part in your torture. I also want to know what your average day is like. For instance do you work or go to school and if so for how long each day. This information will aid me in devising tortures for you that last longer and take a certain level of commitment from you. Have you ever been truly tortured by a Master and if so do you have video of it? I would like to see it if you do. Answer my questions and then you will receive your next torture. you are doing very well. Stop capitalizing I and me. you are doing a great job of submitting. Embrace it totally pig. Captial letters are for Alpha males. Pigs like you only get lower case letters in referring to themselves.
I have an assignment for you. I want to see you whipped with a belt....I mean WHIPPED. Red assed is good....welts are better. Do you have someone who can do it for you? If not I will come up with an assignment for you that is solo.
i'm 19yo and live in Paris, France. i live in an apartment i share with 2 other people who have no idea i am a pigboy which sometimes impose restrictions to what i can do. i am still a student. i go to college every day. Schedule changes but it's usually 9am to 5pm. i regularly receive emails from people who want to see me do things. Sometimes i really can't do it (like putting needles in my balls or putting my hands in boiling water) but most of the time i manage to force myself. Little by little i learn to take more. What i have to do vary a lot. Some people want me to become a professional cocksucker, others want me to evolve as a permanent toilet, others just want to see me get pain, others want me to focus on specific part of my body like balls, throat, pisshole etc. Until now i only did selftorture. i don't have a Master. The closest i had from a Master was a guy who followed me during nearly a month (through emails) and gave me a tough schedule with things to do every day. i am not in contact with him anymore.
Good pig. You followed my instructions very well. I noticed you stopped
using upper case letters when referring to yourself. Know your place bitch. It is good to know your circumstances. I don't want to give you impossible tasks to do. Now that I know more I will devise tortures that are doable and that still please me. I want to see that they are difficult for you to do. I will enjoy the pained expressions on your face. I am interested in almost all of the things that you mentioned....I have already enjoyed seeing you used as a toilet. You probably will get a lot of piss related assignments since it is easy to do alone and videotape. If you have other video clips of you doing other tortures...send them to me. It will give me a lot of pleasure.
For your next assignment I want you to put out a lit cigarette on your
balls. If you cant force yourself to do it I want to at least see you
trying to....it is okay to be scared...I want you to be scared. It will
hurt for a day then it will go away. If you can eat your own shit (I was
proud of you) you can do this.
I am attaching a photo of myself so you can see who you are serving.
M
>i did what you asked for. i admit it was very difficult, at least as
> difficult as the first time i was asked to swallow shit. i really panicked when i received your email. i have once been asked to burn my foreskin with a cigarette and, even though i tried hard, i was not able to do it. It was nearly two months ago, so the fact that i managed to burn my balls today means i am more conscious of where i belong. i should not expect to have the same life as other teenagers my age, i'm here to get hurt and to please those who want me to get hurt and degradated.
> Thank you for helping me to accept that.
GOOD boy. I am proud of you. You are truly a piece of shit for me to
abuse. I am really happy with you today. Not all of your tasks will be
this difficult, but it is good for you to be kept in your place at the very
bottom of the food chain. You are bellow the fucking family dog and as soon as you accept that fully you will find inner peace.
Your next assignment is to go to a public restroom facility and video or
photograph yourself licking piss from a toilet seat or a urinal. I want to
see your tongue pressed flat and hard against the porcelain.
By the way....how do your balls feel? LOL. Fucking bitch.
M
> i'm sorry but i don't own a camera. i just use my webcam to take pictures or videos.
Not a problem boy. Seriously, I want to know how your scrotum feels now.
Does it still hurt? Describe for me what it was like for you to obey my
desire to have you torture yourself. Imagine how much more satisfying it
would be for you to have a Master who abused you and beat you and then
allowed you to sit at his feet with your head on his knee while he stroked
your hair.
This assignment is easy....no more furniture for you. By that I mean for
the next week you sleep on the floor, eat on the floor and engage in any
leisure activities without sitting on the furniture of your apartment.
When at school you may sit on a chair while in class but that is it. You
are lower than a pet dog (do you have a dog?) and will be treated
accordingly.
I expect to hear from you soon with an essay on why you are a worthless
piece of shit and why you are unworthy of humane treatment.
M
my balls still hurt badly. It's still burned deep and small blisters appeared around the burning. i understand i deserved it. i know i need to hurt my cock and balls because it's the only way for me to use them, i can't use them to fuck because only real men can do that. my cock and balls are worthless as i am. the only sexual intercourse i can be involved in is to suck cocks and take cocks up the ass, not to receive pleasure but to please others. i am a worthless piece of shit, i shouldn't be allowed to eat valued food but should be thankfull to eat dog food and piss and shit because i don't deserve more. i shouldn't complaint that i'm not happy because i don't deserve happiness. When i'm asked to hurt myself i should always say thank you because it helps me understand my true condition. i'm here to please the men who are kind enough to take some time to write to me. i should feel lucky they keep on writing to such a piece of shit like me and should encourage them to be less nice with me because i'm not a normal teenage boy and though shouldn't be treated like one.
It sounds like you are getting your mind right pig. I enjoyed watching you
put that cigarette out on your balls. I laughed. Too bad I could not hear
your cries and see the look on your face. I noticed some hair on your balls and crotch. Shave it. Pubic hair is for men.
I want you to take a piece of dry toast and spread some of your shit on it
like peanut butter. Then I want you to jack off on it and mix your sperm
into the shit. You guessed it fuck face....eat it. The challenge with this is that you will have just cum and will not be horny so it will test your commitment to your status.
M
I have not heard from you in a while bitch boy. Am I being too hard on you? Is your scrotum healing? Write back and tell me your first name. I also want to know what event(s) in your life have brought you to this point of self realization. When did you first realize that you were less than most men? Actually, you are less than most animated life forms. Take a few minutes to write to me. Tell me about your life so that I can more fully appreciate and enjoy abusing your worthless body. You understand, I am sure, that you must continue to earn my attention.
M
i'm sorry i didn't answer before but i had a very busy week and also other orders to follow that took some time. i still didn't eat the bread with shit and cum but i slept on the floor as you asked until last Sunday. It was kind of difficult even during the last days.
my first name is eric. i realized i was worth nothing nearly a year ago. i was dating a guy who was quite hard with me and when he saw i was submissive he acted even harder with me. It's him who posted the ads on the internet to ask for people to abuse me, he said i was made to serve and to be hurt. I don't see him anymore because he moved but he told me he would keep an eye on me, and i know he might be one of the people who send me email orders. my scrotum is nearly completely healed.
I accept your apology and of course I understand that you have a life to lead as well. Not even the best pig can avoid the day to day tasks that require interaction with the real world. That being said, I also hope that being relegated to the floor helped keep your place in the world in perspective for you. Pain free days of pleasure and respect are for others....NOT FOR YOU. You owe a real debt to the Alpha male who first instructed you. He did a good job.
I would like to see the video clips you make for others as well. It amuses me to see your humiliation...your tears would be even better. Now get busy and eat the shitcum sandwich fuck face.
M
Here is the clip.
i don't keep the old ones, i just send them as a proof i did what i wasasked to.
you fucking worthless piece of shit...I guess you are what you eat pig. The look on your cuntish face was great. Did you puke pig? I wish I was close enough to you to administer a sound beating you fucking cunt.
I will come up with some additional tasks for you and email them to you soon.
Good cunt boy.
M
Here is your next torture eric. I noticed your worthless dick is uncut. Don't worry pussy boy I am not going to make you cut it....lol...would be cool but I have something else in mind. Do you know what an alligator clip is? It is a small clip used by electicians that has alligator like teeth clamped by a small but strong spring mechanism. They are small and can be
purchased in the electrical section of any hardware store. Get four of an appropriate size. I want you to clip them to the end of your forskin firmly with all teeth engaged. Half the teeth insed the forskin and half out. One on the top one on the bottom and one for each side. I want you to go about your normal day. The torture will be distracting but not unbarable. The trauma to your tissue will be minor. It should be interesting to see the result to your worthless dick at the end of the day. Is there any way that you can include audio on your clips? What a kick it would be to hear your pitiful whimpering bitch.
M
When i'm asked to buy specific tools, i have to decline. A lot of people
ask me that and i can't do it for everybody so i don't do it at all. And
even though 4 alligator clips is not very expensive, it's not very cheap either for me.
Plus, i know it's not your problem but my foreskin is very sensitive and i honestly don't think i can put 4 alligator clips on it and keep them for a day.
i am sorry.
That is disappointing indeed. I can understand the not wanting to have to
purchase items though. I dispprove of your whining about your sensitive foreskin though bitch. Pain is your lot in life and you need to embrace it. You are doing very well overall though eric. You seem to do better with the piss and shit related assignments so here is one for you. Piss into a clear glass or plastic drinking glass. Take your shit and mix it in using enough to give the mixture the consistency of a milk shake. At this point you have a choice....you can drink it down (have a bucket handy in case you puke fuck face) or you can make pasta and pour it over the top like sauce. Eat it all or drink it all cunt. Your choice. Choice is good isn't it eric? lol
M
i'm confused. i don't know if i should keep on doing all this because i think i'm loosing control over it. i'm always afraid of the next
assignement i will receive because i know it will be difficult and i'll be in pain but at the same time i know i deserve it, i can't keep my mind away from this and it's like my all life is turning around this. Like shit for example, i hate it, i really do. i don't know why but everybody seems to want to see me eat shit. Just last week i had to eat shit 3 times in different ways. i ended up with diarrhea and to have to eat the shit i had already eaten. i don't think i can keep on like this. Even the days i have nothing to do, i am in pain from previous abuses. It's either my urethra that burns or my nipples that are swollen and irritated or my balls like when you told me to put out that cigarette on them, the pain lasted for a long time. i know that i can take more pain now than before and that it's only by getting more pain that i will learn to take even more, that i should see that as a training, but.. i don't know, it hurts. And even if i learn to take more, the assignements always seem to get harder and harder,
so it's not even easier for me. i know i don't worth much and that at
least i make some people happy but sometimes i wish they would be less
hard on me. i can understand that some people want me to put some weights on my balls but what about hitting my fingers with a hammer on purpose? or doing an enema with icy water? this really hurts and it's very difficult to do. As when you asked me to put these clamps on my foreskin and to keep them the whole day. i didn't have the clamps but even if i had, i don't know how long i could have kept them on. My foreskin was already very sore and irritated because i had to scrub it with sand paper a few days before and i really paniked when i saw i had to work on it even more. i have to think more. i don't know what i should do. Thank you for your understanding.
Wow. You have a lot on your plate eric. Let me see if I can help you with some of this. First of all, a good Master must look out for the welfare of his slave and while you are not technically mine (you seem to belong to many) I do feel a true affection for you and your dedication to your place in the world. That being said, I think we can agree on a couple of points. First, shit tastes awful. If it tasted good any cunt boy could eat it and would. What makes you exceptional is that you do eat shit when you are instructed to. There is a saying that no man can serve two Masters. What you are experiencing now is a symptom of trying to serve everyone. You are correct in stating that you probably can't continue on like this. You
should also realize that when I or for that matter any other dominant Alpha male give you tasks we are unaware that you have already had to eat shit two other times. Of the tasks that I have given you though, you seem the most adept at being a human toilet. It is interesting to me to hear of some of the other tortures that were devised for you. It bothers me that some have asked you to do things that have the potential to cause you real and lasting damage....like hitting your fingers with a hammer....in my opinion that was unreasonable and you should not do it unless you really want to and then...have at it. My tortures are calculated to be truly difficult but not permantly harmful. It is actually quite a turn on to read the torment in your message and it makes me want to wrap you into my arms and hold you until you are calm and ready for my abuse. One thing is certain, you will not achieve contentment until you have one permanent owner to serve and suffer for. In the mean time you should consider bundling demands to please more than one Master. For instance I would have been pretty happy if you would have declined the alligator clip demand but offered up a video of you scrubbing your cock with sandpaper as an alternative. So let me assure you that you are a worthless, cuntface, bitch as you know, but a good Master should always be looking out for you as well as keeping you in your place.
It is up to the strong to both dominate and protect the slaves. You say you are losing control...you never had it and you never will. You don't deserve control, you deserve to be controlled. Accept it. Embrace it. The journey to total surrender has started and you will never be content or happy if you start resisting now. So, eric, take my suggestions. If you get multiple directives to eat shit...devise a way to eat it once and cc the Tops together. If you get a demand to break a bone or cut or disfigure yourself permanently then realize that the requester does not know what he/she is doing. If you want, you can seek permission from another Alpha male to disregard the instruction which relieves you of the need to stand up to or argue with one of your betters. Maybe you should chose one temporary Master to filter the requests and tell you which ones to perform and which ones you may not perform. Other Top/Alphas will nderstand if you tell them that your Sir refused to let you do it. Eventually you will find the one Master who you will totally surrender to. He is the one who will put his brand on you, In the meantime I am proud to be one of your tormentors.
M
Thank you, your message was very helpful. It's starting to get clearer in my head. i will eat that piss and shit shake as soon as i can for you. But probably not before 10 days from now because one of my roommates is in holiday and will stay here and playing with shit is not really possible when somebody is in the apartment (smell). In the meantime tell me if you want me to hurt myself, i am ready to get hard pain, i will be glad to do it for you because you helped me. Thanks again very much.
I'm glad I was able to help you. You can write to me anytime and let me know what is on your mind. The better I get to know you the better I can use you. I have some basic activities for you that will help to keep your mind right.
1. You are to drink at least 8 ounces of piss each day.
2. If you masturbate you MUST eat your cum. No exceptions to this.
3. Sleep naked. No exceptions to this either. No whining. Just do it. If you must sleep in a room with others...oh well, find a way to be naked when you sleep.
4. No underwear. The choice of wearing underwear is for people with the freedom to choose. That is NOT you eric. If it is embarrassing for you...all the better.
5. When in the presence of Alpha males you are to keep your head
inclined toward the floor and not make eye contact with them. You will know who they are. If I owned you I would not allow you to look anyone in the eye unless I released you to do so. In this situation you are on the honor system.
6. Finally, any man who wants to fuck you or put his cock in your mouth you are to accommodate immediately and without question. This is important eric....you are to submit and take their cocks to include taking their cum and piss if they please. You have no choice in this eric. It is your place in this world to be a cum/piss dump. If a man asks you if he needs a condom you are to leave it completely up to him...why.....because you have no freedom of choice. Submit completely. This goes for any fantasy they may have for you bitch. You are lower than a pet dog. In fact you are not permitted to look any male dog that still has its balls in the eye. That dog is your better and you need to communicate submission to it by body
language.I want a response from you on this bitch. I want you to write back and tell me you accept these simple rules to live by. Be honest, but your surrender must be complete.
Finally, here is your task. I want you to take a Q-tip and lubricate one end with a lube of your choice. KY works well for this. Insert the lubricated end into your piss slit and push it in until the only the dry end is protruding from your slit. Fuck it in and out about 6 to 10 times leaving it inserted. Dress and go about your business seeing how long you can leave it in. When you take it out I want you to be on video again.
Communicate to me on the video someway how long you were able to stand it. Yank it out. I mean it eric...YANK it out. For about 12 to 24 hours it will burn a bit when you piss. Everytime you feel that burning I want you to say "Thank you Master Mike for teaching me my place." The burning sensation will subside and you will not have hurt yourself. This is an easy one eric. Don't let me down.
(to be continued)
i'm sorry, i tried, i swear i really tried for a long time but i couldn't insert the qtip all the way in my piss slit. i tried but it wouldn't go in.
i'm ashamed not being able to satisfy you. i don't know what more i can say.
i'm a worthless piece of shit.
i accept the rules:
i will drink at least 8 ounces of piss everyday
i will eat my cum when i masturbate
i will always sleep naked
i will never wear underwear
i will always keep my head inclined in the presence of an Alpha male
i will accept any cock and any piss or cum in my mouth and ass
i started to drink my daily glass of piss yesterday. i will do it everyday
before going to sleep.
you said i had to eat my cum when i masturbate which i already did. But i
have a question that bothers me. It's about the frequency. How much can i
jerk off everyday? i had some remarks that only real men should use their
dick and balls and that i should use my holes instead. But i jerk off a lot
each day and i really can't imagine stopping that.
Well, now you have something to strive for you fucking cunt. I am actually
going to insert a q-tip into my own dick and send you a series of photos
just to shame you. Now that you can see how easy it is get fucking busy. If
you keep working on it and get used to the sensation it will happen for you
and you will probably enjoy it. Anyway, I anticipate that you will let me
down from time to time...the only important thing is that you continue to
try your hardest to live up to my demands. If I were there I could motivate
you with a whipping for failing or more likely just have shoved the q-tip in
myself and enjoyed your tears. Since I am not I will have to take something
away from you....thinking....ahhhh, got it. You are sleeping on the floor
for the next three nights. You can redeem your bed by performing the tasks
that you failed at. Otherwise, you spend the next three nights on the floor
bitch. You can have your pillow and blankets but of course no underwear or
other clothing.
Regarding your question about masturbation. The rule is the rule. If you
jack off once or ten times a day is not important. You are a boy and boys
have dicks and balls. I want you to enjoy being a boy and play with
yourself a lot if you want, but never forget you will NEVER be a man's equal
or for that matter any other male animals. While I understand the point
that you are a worthless cunt and some think you should not be permitted the
enjoyment of your male organs, I am more realistic about your training. The
fact is that a great deal of your acceptance of your place in life is sexual
in nature. In order to make you and keep you a submissive cunt it is wiser
to let you play with your worthless cock and balls. It gives you a good
contrast with the pain you endure and I can always take it away from you
later if I choose.
On a positive note, you accepted all of your rules without hesitation. Now
the challenge is to live the rest of your worthless life by those rules.
M
Hello bitch. Just been thinking about you today. How did you like the floor? You have to learn to please me eric or you could wind up naked and on the floor with no covers and no pillow. All because you can't slide a skinny little lubricated Qtip into your worthless dick. So get back to work fuckface. Either show me tears on your face or you wearing a fucking qtip in your cock slit....come to think of it I would not mind seeing BOTH. Please me or your next task will be making a nest on the floor out of one blanket and sending me a video of you curled up on it.
How is your piss drinking going? Do you like going without underwear all the time? It should remind you constantly of your status in this world.
M
Hello,
> I didn't understand i had to work more on my pisslit since i slept on the
> floor. i will try more. i don't like sleeping on the floor, it's too hard
> and i'm all stiff the next day.
> i'm getting used to my daily glass of piss. Maybe i'm too much used to it
> when i come to think of it. It was not easy at the begining but now it's
> starting to become a habit. i tend to forget it's piss actually. Writing
> this is strange, it reminds me i'm drinking piss everyday, what kind of
> sick person would do that? i'm disgusting.
> i don't wear my underwear anymore. It's ok, but i can't wear some of my
> tigher jeans, it would show too much my genitals along my leg, especially
> my balls because they go low.
> There is something i'd like to share with you. You told me i could, so
> here it is : i don't know what to do, a guy who gave me some tasks before
> want me to improve my cocksucking. He is in Paris and he wants to take me
> to a sex-club to suck cocks. i don't want to do it. What do you think?
> Maybe you could convince him i'm not ready? His email :
> Thank you
I am glad you are drinking the piss. It is a good thing that you are
getting used to it. You are a sick little fuck with an extraordinarilly low
place on life's food chain. Sleeping on the floor is supposed to be a
punishment for displeasing me. Be glad it is not worse.
Now that you have accepted not wearing underwear, I want you to commit to it
for life and that means throw away all...ALL...of your underwear. Will you
do it? Understand this too eric...the purpose of wearing no underwear is to
keep you in your place. Part of that is embarassing you in front of your
betters. So if you understand that concept eric you will understand that
you need to continue wearing your tight jeans just like you used to. If
people can see your worthless balls then so what? You are lucky I don't
make you wear a cockring to make your humiliation even more obvious.
Now for the important part of your email. I am glad you shared your
concerns with me. My thoughts on this will probably not be what you want to
hear though. eric you need to accept your place. I have told you before
that you need to accept any man's sperm without question. You have to
surrender to this eric. If this Alpha male was going to scar or injure you
I would champion your cause....I promise....but you have to do this eric.
Why do you feel you are not ready? You have I suppose sucked dick before.
I know you want me to see this issue differently, but I would be doing your
training and you a disservice if I let you squirm out of something as basic
as this.
Keep working your urethra open and don't forget you are still expected to
drink that shit shake.
eric, you are a good bitch. Don't blow it now. Write back and let me know
what you are going to do.
>i admit i was hoping you would plead in my favor. But i understand your
>reasons and i know you think it's what's best for me. i guess i know you're
>right but still it scares me. Yes i sucked dicks before, not a lot though
>and never to the point of swallowing except for one guy. i have to convince
>myself it's what i'm here for. i remember what you said once: that my place
>in life is sexual in nature. i won't be really myself if i don't start
>accepting that and acting like it. So i will go to the meeting and i will
>suck these cocks, at least he will be with me, i won't have to be alone.
>God, i'm really anxious about it...
Don't be anxious eric. It will be an adventure. Cock in your mouth should
make you happy. You should crave it because when an Alpha male is blowing
his spooge down your worthless throat you will know that you have pleased
him. You are lucky that Master Pierre is willing to be there with you and
will help guide you. I only wish that I could be too. Think of the cum as
your reward for being a good slut.
Spitting out an Alpha male's seed is not acceptable eric...do NOT waste a
drop of it.
M
Hello pig eric. Do what you are told tonight by Master Pierre at the club.
I want you to write to me and tell me your feelings about it tomorrow. Give
me the details. I want you to be a good cunt for any man that wants to use
you. Obey MP in everything or he will punish you with my blessings. This
is an important part of accepting you place in the world eric. Impress me
by being a really good bitch.
By the way, you never commented on me sending you pics once in a while. Do
you want me to continue?
M
Hi eric. I heard from Pierre that you did not attend your training session with him. He is disappointed but I am more realistic. I think I pushed you too much. I should have heard your plea for help and aided you. Even a good Alpha male is always learning new things. The better I get to know you the better I can handle you. Nothing has changed eric. You are still a bottom bitch who has a destiny to fulfill. There is still pain and pleasure in your future. I expect you to get scared and without a strong guiding hand that you trust. Apparently Pierre is not that person. I expect you will even freak out from time to time when you feel cornered. I am disappointed because I was hoping to hear what a good cocksucker you were and how full your belly got with Alpha sperm. The disappointment is only in regards to the anticipation factor though.
I feel that you need to receive a penalty for failing. How do you feel about it eric? Tell me what is happening in your head and let me help you through it. More than anything though let me know that you are ok. I wish I could be there to help you through this tough spot.
I enjoy our interactions and look forward to your emails. Write soon.
M
eric:
I have not heard from you lately. Is everything ok?
M
i sent you an email at the begining of the week but you did not answered so
>i thought you were angry. So you've heard i acted badly by not showing up
>at the bar the other day. i'm ashamed. Master Pierre has been very nice
>though and he still agrees to take me to the club. i know i should go and
>that it will be easier with him helping me. But i'm still very confused. i
>asked another person and he agreed i should go, that i'll have to get used
>to suck dicks sooner or later, and since somebody was offering help it
>would be a nice first time experience. i understand. But you know sometimes
>when i see other guys my age, i'm wondering if there is not another path
>for me. i know i'm not normal because normal guys don't drink their piss
>for example. But maybe i can change and that i'm good at something else
>than just being abused. Deep inside i feel like i need to serve and suck,
>but sometimes i wonder why i need that. And i don't know what to think. One
>other thing that scares me is that, i'm not sure but i think, there are
>chances you can get aids by swallowing cum. i have to write to Master
>Pierre soon, i can't make him wait too long after what i already did to
>him. i'll let you know my decision.
Hello eric. I did not receive the email earlier this week. No matter
though...it was good to hear from you and I am glad you are ok. Pierre did
tell me that you were bad. I told him I thought maybe we pushed you too
hard too fast. By rights he should punish you so if he is easy on you you
should be truly grateful.
Your email is full of self questioning. I want you to read these words very
carefully eric. You are NOT like other boys your age. Other young adult
men are becoming the Alpha males they were designed to be. You already
recognize your status. I know it and so do you eric. You are not now and
NEVER will be an Alpha male. I am not being mean when I say this. I am
giving you my honest counsel. Those other boys do not drink piss, eat shit
sandwiches on command, burn their balls or swing weights from their balls to
please other dominant men. You know you are only really happy when you are
pleasing one of us don't you? You will not find peace in your soul until
you truly accept this and embrace it and start practicing it in real life.
You already are off to a late start. You should have been pleasing men in
any way they desired at a much earlier age so you don't really have a lot of
time to waste. If you try to change your nature you will only be in
conflict with yourself and by the time you realize your mistake you will
have wasted much of your life to a lie.
I understand your concern about HIV. What to say....to begin with the
chances of contracting it orally are minimal. Anally it is greater. Even
if you do convert there are a couple of things to consider. It is not fatal
anymore. Now, it is just a chronic condition that is very treatable.
People live long full lives and some say it is even liberating to not have
to worry about it anymore.
I really think you need to have a flesh and blood Master who will take your
concerns into consideration and make informed decisions on your behalf. If
you love and serve him and worship him he will take care of you and your
abuse will be very fulfilling.
Now, my little cuntface boy, I have been patient and understanding enough.
It is time for you to please me. Show me how much you appreciate my counsel
and our chats. You have four tasks.
1. Write back to me and tell me you understand your status as an abuse
sponge and cum slut and that you will stop this nonsense of wanting to be
"normal" like other more deserving Alpha boys/men.
2. Make a video clip of you shredding your underwear with scissors and
throwing the rags away.
3. Make a video clip fulfilling your earlier promise to drink a shit
shake...doesn't have to be a big one...just do it....I hate to be disobeyed.
4. Write to Master Pierre and beg....and I mean BEG for his forgivness.
Offer your worthless mouth and asshole to him and promise to accept any
punishment he deems suitable. Send me a copy of the email.
Master Mike
Cher Maître Pierre,
> J'ai conscience d'avoir été un très mauvais garçon et que je n'aurais pas
> dû agir comme je l'ai fait. Je suis extrêmement désolé et vous supplie de
> me pardonner. Comme preuve de ma sincérité, je suis prêt à vous offrir mes
> trous et vous laisser en faire ce que bon vous semble. S'il vous plaît,
> faites moi sucer des bites, faites moi avaler tout le sperme que je peux.
> J'en ai vraiment besoin, je suis disponible dès ce soir si vous le
> désirez. Je sais aussi que je mérite d'être puni pour ma mauvaise conduite
> et j'accepterai votre punition quelle qu'elle soit.
> Votre pute, éric.
Very good boy eric. Very good indeed. That covers one of the four things I
told you to do. Enjoy your punishment tonight. Embrace your status as a
fucking sperm whore.
M
So i did it. i went to the club and sucked cocks. i don't know how many, a
> dozen i think. i swallowed all the cum and Master Pierre also made me lick
> the toilet and drink his piss. i feel bad, i can't believe how low i got.
> Yesterday i drank the shit and piss shake. Master Pierre insisted that i
> do it quickly.
> This morning my urethra was burning badly and there is lots of yellow
> liquid stuff coming out of it. i don't know if i caught something bad when i
> sucked the cocks or if it is because of my working with the qtip, maybe it's
> infected. i don't know what to do, i think i'll have to see the doctor but
> i don't know what i'm going to say to him. And i don't have underwears
> anymore, can i borrow one from my roommate just to see the doctor please ?
eric you are a very good boy. You can stop working with the qtip now. Give
it a day or two before you see a doctor. If it is the qtip it will clear up
quickly. If you do go to the doctor you don't have to tell him anything
except what your symptoms are. I am glad to hear that you don't have any
underwear anymore. You have my permission to borrow a pair if you go to the
doctor this time ONLY. You really should not have to though. eric, a lot
of boys don't wear underwear. Anyway the whole idea is to humiliate you and
keep you in your worthless bottom cunt mode.
I am pleased that you met with Master Pierre and followed through. If I
were there I would stroke you and praise you and buy you a treat of some
kind for being such a good cunt. The challenge of course is for you to
embrace it and look forward to your cunt outtings.
I enjoyed watching you drink the shit shake. I love the look of dispair on
your face bitch. I laughed pretty hard.
So, tell me eric...have you accepted your place? It appears that you have,
but I really want to hear it from you. I want you to tell me that you have
totally accepted your cuntdom. I want you to tell me you won't whine about
it. That does not mean you can't talk about your levels of misery, it only
means you can't beg to be treated better. You are a smart bitch so I am
sure you can discern the subtle difference.
I look forward to hearing form you.
> Master Pierre wrote to me to go back to the club. i told him i wouldn't
> go. We don't write to each other anymore. i'm writing to you for the same
> purpose. i don't want to continue.
> About the leaking of yellow stuff from my peehole, it didn't stop. i had
> to see the doctor and go make a blood test. It sems i got a sexual disease
> i caught last week at the club. i had to do the HIV test too, it is
> negative but i have to do it again in 3 months because you can't know for
> sure right after it seems. The doctor gave me a strong shot of something
> and it's gone now, but HIV is still very likely it seems. Because the
> doctor told me that if you swallow cum it's like if you get fucked.
> So, that's all. i'll stop all that. i don't exactly know what i will do
> with the other people. Maybe i'll keep on doing some of the tasks i'm
> asked to do from time to time but i'd rather stop all at once. Even
> drinking my piss at night, it was something i quite liked actually but
> it's a bad thing.
> So, that's all. Thank you for taking some interest in me these last few
> months.
I waited a while to reply. I am not mad at you. I understand you are
frightened. How did your std test come back?
M
> i would understand if you were mad. i showed i can't be trusted.
> my HIV test came back negative for the moment but i have to do another one
> in a couple of month. And the leaking is completely gone now.
Would you like to earn my trust back?
M
> i'm not sure what to say. i'd like to earn your trust back but i know i can't
> promise you to do whatever you say. Not anymore. What i did lately
> disgusts me and still scares me, i think of it everyday.
Well, you could start by telling me what you really don't want to do
anymore. If it is acceptable to me we could go from there. I know you
really liked a lot of my tasks. Many of them were simple and I am willing
to bet you still do some of them. Send me an email and tell the stuff you
really hated and which ones made you feel like a good submissive bitch.
M
>i can't really say i liked any of your tasks. The one that didn't really
>bothered me was to drink the daily glass of piss, i didn't liked it at
>first but got used to it after a while. The thing i had the most trouble
>with was to work on my urethra.
Ok. I will leave your piss tube alone. I would like you to keep drinking
the piss though. Maybe we could do some more piss work...like food
preperation with it and such....what do you think?
M
Just a note to see how you are doing. Have you settled down yet? Are you feeling better about your place on the food chain yet?
Let me know..
M
...
At that time there was a pause of a few months in our relationship.
...
> Dear Master Mike,
> I apologize deeply for the way I behaved. I tried to changed my life, I
> felt it was what I needed, but it didn't work. I now know I need the abuse
> and that I'm not worth anything. I need to be in pain and to feel
> humiliated, I'm not a normal boy, I never will be.
No shit you stupid fuck. You should be ashamed of yourself. How do I know
that you are not going to act up again? What happened to your boyfriend?
Write back and answer these questions and I will consider entertaining
myself with you again cunt.
M
Dear Master Mike,
> Thank you for your answer. I feel ashame, I really do. i was
> really doubting and just at that time I met this boyfriens who was really
> nice with me. He took really good care of me and I really thought that I
> could have the kind of life other boys have, that in fact I was normal.
> But everything turned out wrong. He learned about my previous life. The first time I
> persuaded him it was not true but then it seems he knew more than I
> thought and finally he showed me one of the video I made. He took it
> really bad. And finally, after some weeks we broke up, he said he couldn't
> stay with me thinking of all the sick shit I did before. I've been really
> depressed for some time, not knowing what to do. Until I came to realize
> that maybe I was wrong to think I was normal, that it was the contrary
> that was right. I don't want to lie to you, I still have a lot of doubts.
> But I started to think a lot about all this period of abuse lately, and I
> feel a kind of reconfort in it. At that time I was not happy, just like
> now, but at least I was feeling useful in a way by entertaining you. I
> didn't realize at that time but I do now, that everything you made me do
> was to make me realize I was made to serve and take abuse, and that I have
> to fully accept it. I understand that in a way you were trying to help me,
> and I am ashamed I refused that. It's still difficult for me to admit that
> I was able to drink piss everyday or worse, to eat my shit. I know I did
> it and at the same time it seems like another life. But it was a life
> where at least I felt useful and even if it was disgusting I know I was
> pleased to do it for you. I'd like to get that back, to let you help me
> see the real me.
Cunt,
The only way you are ever going to find any peace of mind is to accept your
position in life as being submissive to others. Total submission is where
you will find contentment. You need to live with an Alpha male and serve
his needs without consideration for yourself. That includes having other
wants and desires. You may be miserable for a time wishing it were not so
but it is. Some life forms have to be servants to keep the world in
balance. Your service may well keep a boy who is not such a little cunt
from becoming one against his own will simply because of physical stature or
economic circumstances. Your service to Alpha males (and it may well mean
serving many Alphas at their whim) is something a cunt like you should take
very low key (as in never show it) pride in. Your pain gives pleasure to
those who can demand it. Your humiliation brings pleasure to those who
witness it and joy to the truly dominant Alphas who inflict it. Genetically
your balls are meant to breed. Your reality is that your balls are there
as a point of pain administration to show your total lack of stature in our
male society. My balls by contrast are used to seed cunts like you thereby
completely taking away any hope of true manhood for pathetic cunts like you.
If you are not happy it is because you have not yet totally submitted your
life. Cum and piss are not just the secretions from an Alpha male's cock.
They should be viewed by you as a gift from a Man that helps you maintain
your equilibrium. I am taking a lot of my time with you cunt. Try not to
fuck it away on whims again. If taking sperm in your belly or fuck hole
makes you sick then take it as proof that you have truly served and embrace
it. Get a shot if possible and continue your service....again your service
may keep a real Man from getting sick or infected. So for fucks sake step
down to your place on the food chain and do your fucking job bitch. My
patience is a gift that does not keep giving for eternity. Treat Me and My
desires with respect from now on or you will be flailing around in the dark
being miserable for the rest of you cuntish existence.
Send me a video of you drinking three large tumblers of piss as a start of
your punishment. Do it soon or don't bother me again. You already know
what I expected of you and you contacted me again so this should not come as
a surprise. Piss will be consumed every fucking day of the rest of your
life. The sooner you start the sooner you start getting happy. More pain
is in your future.
M
> It took me more than 40 minutes but I drank all of it. I had never drank
> so much in a row before, my stomach don't feel very good. But I understand it
> is a punishment and I deserve it. Thank you Master Mike.
You are welcome cunt. You are by NO means out of hot water yet bitch boy.
The next one involves a bunch of bananas. Do you have a problem with buying
a bunch of bananas? You once told me you had a strict limit that you would
not purchase even the slightest item to comply with tortures. So let me
know if you want to buy six bananas. I laughed my ass off evertime you
looked miserable in that video clip. Was your belly nice and bloated?
M
Good boy. Get six full size bananas. Peel them. Lubricate your cunt with
crisco or cooking oil. Start stuffing. One banana at a time into your shit
hole. All six. I don't have to tell you what to do next. Shit the bananas
into a bowl and eat them...right after you piss into the bowl. It does not
have to be a huge amount of piss...just enough to flavor the bananas. Get
used to it because your punishment is going to go on for a while cuntface.
Piss is going to be added to almost all the food you consume at home. LOL.
You fucking cunt. You have a lot to atone for. When I am done with you,
you will know your place is groveling on th ground at an Alpha males feet.
For that matter every male animal is superior to you fuckface.
Excellent fuckface. I am pleased by the instant obedience to my wish. It
is funny as shit to think of you sitting around with all those bananas
stuffed up your cunt waiting to produce some nice soft serve dessert for
your continued humiliation and My Alpha amusement. It is too bad you are so
far away. I could train you properly to service my needs and those of my
friends pig. Your suffering would be endless and most amusing. Does this
submission give your peace? Do you feel you are atoning for trying to be an
equal when you obviously are not? How many times, I wonder, have you looked
a true Male in the eyes when I had told you not to? I will never know for
sure, so I will have to make sure you get the message this time cunt.
M
That is very good pig. You followed your intructions to the letter. How
did it taste? Hope you liked it because, as I stated before, if you want to
truly please me you will be pissing to some degree on most of your food.
Not always a full load of piss. Sometimes it may only be a little, but the
object is going to be to break you down so that no matter what an Alpha Male
demands of you, you will obey him without thought for yourself or
hesitation.
> I can't really say the submission gives me peace yet. I feel more tormented
>but it's just been 2 days, I'm sure it will come. I will piss on my food
>each time I'm alone. I understand your goal to break me down in order to
>erase any hesitation I may have in front of an Alpha Male. I really want to
>be a good boy, I'd hate to act badly in front of an Alpha Male. I think
>only once I am broken down, will I find peace and accept what I have to
>accept witout resistance or too much thinking. The begining will be
>difficult but I'm really motivated to train hard again. As for the bananas they
>tasted more like shit than piss, I should have made sure before that there
>was no more shit in my hole. But I'll have to get used to that taste again
>anyway, so it's not a bad thing I guess.
Listen to that small voice inside of you cunt boy. The one that is urging
you to embrace your torment and give into what ever nasty degredation the
real Men have for you. The voice that is urging you to find a way to serve.
Sometimes you will here another little voice urging you to rebel as you have
in the past...that voice must be silenced and eradicated. Will you walk
thru life with your eyes cast slightly downward? Will you stop wearing
underwear to mark yourself as a slut and make your worthless hole more
easily accessible to those to whom you MUST submit? Will you tolerate the
pain when a Man comes home frustrated from his job and beats you with a belt
to ease his pent up rage? Will you someday be so submissive that when your
Master needs to piss you will immediately offer your mouth or cunt to Him?
Will you service your Master's guests without a word of protest or a
moment's hesitation? Will you someday find comfort in feeling Alpha sperm
cleaning to the crevices of your worthless cunt hole, knowing that you have
given your tortured rectum up to the pleasures of your betters?
I wonder about these things. I think of ways to take you down the path.
Willingly? Kicking and screaming? I wonder. Oh well, life is not an
adventure if you only stand on the sidelines of it.....LOL.
M
I started to stop wearing underwears today. As I told you once it makes me
>feel a little uncomfortable because you can see my dick and especially my
>balls along my leg. But I remember what you told me once, that the purpose
>of wearing no underwear was to keep me in my place and embarassing me in
>front of my betters. I'm still a little afraid about the path I'm taking
>but I'll do my best.
Good bitch. Your humiliation is important to both Me and you. Give up your
desire to control your destiny cunt. I want everyone who looks at you to
know you are a fucking worthless piece of shit. Straight males and women
will look down on you for your obvious lack of manners and gay Alphas will
leer at you and know you are available for their pleasure. Send me a
picture of what your package looks like in your jeans. I think you are
whining about nothing faggot. If I were there I would be torturing the shit
out of your worthless cunt balls and making them swell to show off even
more. Don't forget...NO LOOKING ANY MALES IN THE EYE. In situations where
you meet someone else at a choke point like a doorway or narrow hall or
passage you MUST always yield to the other person and put your head down
when you do it. You should already know this, but I am going to reinforce
it here right now....ANY man who wants to fuck you or wants you to blow him
gets what he wants WITHOUT ANY resistance or hesitancy on your part. You
are a cunt boy from now until the fucking day you leave this earth. It is
what God put you here to be and you MUST embrace and acknowledge it totally.
When I finish with you you will conduct your life like a fucking whipped
dog.
Are you drinking your piss every day? Have you been adding at least some
piss to all the food you prepare at home? How often are you mastubating?
Write me with answers and comments on everything I have stated here. Also,
send the pic I intructed you to and a vid of you eating piss flavored food
from a plate on the floor without using your hands...like a dog.
M
It feels very weird to look down and put my head down when I meet a male.
> I mean some of them just pass without noticing me but some others really see
> I put my head down. The worst is when I have to go buy cigarettes or bread,
> I'm really in front of them and in this case they have to notice. They
> must think I'm retard. Something really bad happened yesterday, I was in an
> elevator and 2 guys entered so I lowered my head, I think they noticed I
> did this because of them. And then one of them asked me the time. I gave it to
> him without looking at him. I felt bad. When we went out of the elevator,
> I heard them laughing, I'm sure it was because of me. I feel very weak in
> this kind of situation, it's difficult to behave like this in public, I feel so
> ashamed. It reminds me of a guy in my high school, we were always teasing
> him because he never spoke to anybody and he kept his head low. I never
> thought about that before but maybe he was a cunt boy like me. At least,
> by training every day to be more submissive like this, I feel more ready to
> the idea to let a male use my mouth or ass if the situation ever shows up.
> I've also been adding piss to my food. I managed to do it nearly every
> day. What I don't know is if I have to also drink some "pure" piss like in a
> glass every day.
> I masturbate about 3 times a day. When I wake up, before going to sleep
> and usually another time in the evening. Is that ok ?
> On the video you can see that for lunch I ate a steak with rice and piss.
> I ate it like dog food on the floor without my hands.
The shame you feel is not only good, it is a sue sign that the training is working and is very necessary. If the males are amused or disgusted by your behavior then all the better. It is your duty to amuse us in any way you can. You can cast your eyes down and assume a submissive demeanor without totally inclining your head. The important thing is that a perceptive man can read your submissiveness. Stepping aside and deferring the right of
way to males is a good thing too. You feel weak because you ARE A CUNT. I want to take the resistance and the fight completely out of you bitch. It is good that you are cooking with piss. Very good. Tasty? You will now start drinking four ounces of your urine in the morning when you get up and at night before you sleep. For now one meal a day must be eaten without hands, on the floor like a good cunt. Here is another rule : every Sunday for diner you'll have a special meal. Main course will be dog food. Dessert wil be some of your shit. I want you to get a dog bowl for that. The rule is set, so I won't ask you again and I don't want to hear you complaining either. Next monday, I want a video of you eating your special meal. For now I will let you masturbate, but you must up it to seven times a day. If you don't manage the seventh one, I will take masturbation away from you all together for a time period of my choosing. You will also eat the cum. All of it without exception. Send me a report on this. I want to know how
soar your worthless dick is. I may even send you viagra to make your cock achingly hard then have you go out and walk around with a raging boner. Maybe have you stand at a public urinal with your hardon on view. Maybe that boy in your school was a cunt like you. Maybe not. But one thing is for sure...the next time you meet him he will know for sure what you are. A fucking piece of shit CUNT.
Good morning cunt boy. Just checking on your progress. Is your worthless dick getting soar yet? Are you complying with my seven times a day masturbation instructions? If you think it is uncomfortable to have an aching dick cuntboy imagine what it will be like if you don't do it. LOL. If I cut off your jacking off your balls will fill up in a matter of a day or two; you will get rogue hardons at inappropriate times and precum will start leaking everytime you see a Man. With no underwear on that should be an interesting sight for your betters to look at. So, if that is not what you want then don't give me any reason to punish you.
For now I am considering what can be done to punish your worthless balls. In the next days we’ll work with weights. I want you to get very, and I mean VERY, low hangers. Your bitch tits need some attention too. They need to be fully seen through your teeshirts. Be nervous cunt because I want it to be creative and scary for you. Of course you should also be confident that I will not make you do anything to permanently injure you. I take better care of my property than that.
Write soon cuntboy.
M
I thought it would not really be a problem to jerk off seven times a day,
>but it's more difficult than i thought. I usually have to jerk off
>4 times in the evening. My dick is not aching but it takes some time for me
>to cum. Especially if I have to do it two or three times in a row.
> But I can't imagine spending a full day without jerking off so I'll keep
> doing it 7 times a day. I don't know, if one day I can't jerk off I can
> feel my balls kind of burning, they need to release pressure and cum.
Hello cunt. I have not heard from you in a while. I only received the video of your special Sunday meal. I'm glad to see that you filled the whole bowl in with dog food and then with shit. This is the kind of attitude I'm expecting from you, cunt. Looks like you had less trouble with dog food than with shit though, next Sunday try to eat it with a little more enthousiasm. Anyway, do not worry I'm thinking of a programm in the future to work on your shit eating abilities. How does your worthless dick feel? Still following your last instructions? Seven times a day bitch or 0 times...either way I like it. Still cooking with some piss every day? Still drinking your skanky piss? you better be or you will find yourself sleeping on the fucking floor again cunt. Soon it will be time to switch gears for some more physical torture. Let me know how it is going pussyboy.
M
I keep following my training but it's difficult to keep the rythm. Drinking
> some piss in the morning and before going to bed is ok. But I can't eat on
> the floor and cook with piss everyday, I do it as much as I can though.
> And I also managed to continue to jerk off 7 times everyday. But all this
> is a tough rythm I don't know if I can add more things like physical
> torture as you want to all this. My mind is already very much focused on
> my dick and my piss and keeping a low profile when I meet males. I know
> I'm not supposed to get used to it right away, but the phase I'm in right
> now is hard to handle. Maybe if I manage to please you with the torture
> you'd like to see me do, we could try to change the rythm of all my tasks.
> I know I shouldn't ask you that but I prefer to share my concerns with
> you. Also I thought that jerking off 7 times a day would lower my sexual
> tension tension but it's the contrary, I feel like I'm thinking a lot more
> about sex. Is it normal, do you think I'll get used to it or should I
> already be used to it?
You have to trust me on this cunt. I know how much you can handle. My plan is to alternate the submissive routine you are currently experiencing with breaks of physical torture/pain. I want you to be well rounded and you will find that once you have had periods of both then it will be way easier and more natural for you to accomodate any demand made by an Alpha. The only part that will NOT fluctuate will be the submissive demeanor (downcast eyes,
yielding right of way etc.) when in the presence of any male. Oh, and no underwear...EVER again. Throw it all out or use them as cleaning rags as you wish cunt. For the time being you may stop eating on the floor. I am not happy to hear you say you can't cook with piss everyday. How hard is it to put a little piss in your fucking cereal or on your eggs cunt? You don't have to drench it to please me just "some" piss. Goddamnit, that is so
fucking easy as compared to some of the shit I have made you do and you let me down on it. You don't even have to piss to do this...just save a little bit in your glass from the morning and put a few drops in whatever is going in your cock sucking mouth. Do it or you will find yourself spending the night on the fucking floor of your bedroom cunt. Remember the last time you were punished with that? You did not like it much did you? If I were there you would suffer for letting me down. Do you feel the shame? You should.
How is your submissive demeanor working? Are Alphas still noticing you? Do they ever fuck with you or toy with you? Have you had sex with a man lately?
As for your focus on sex...oh well piglet. You will be used for it the rest of your worthless life so you might as well think about it a lot. When you can handle the seven times a day routine I may add a eighth or take it away for a period of time. I'll have to think about it.
I encourage you to let me know how you are feeling. This is not bad as long as you approach me with respect and deference. In fact it would be better to hear from you more often so that I can keep tabs on your progress and state of mind.
Write to me soon. I will be ready for some torture in a short time.
M
I'm very sorry, I didn't want to disapoint you. I didn't realize it was
> that important to put piss in my food. I'll try to do more, I promise. But
> I do drink some in the morning and before going to bed. And please don't
> take the jerk off away from me, I need it to handle everything. 7 times is
> already a lot, I'm not sure I could do more. It already takes me a lot of
> time and occupies my mind a lot, I'm constently thinking about it, trying
> to find some time to do it, but sometimes I have to jerk off five times in
> the evening.
I still keep a low profile in front of males. I can see they notice but
except for that last time in the elevator, nobody really teased me about
that.
Since you told me you were thinking about adding some physical torture to
my training, I can't help but feelig anxious. Is it really necessary that
> I receive pain? What I currently do is already difficult for me. I want to
> plese you, I really do. But I'm worried about what I'm becoming. Since I
started again with you, I constantly feel ashamed andworthless. I feel
> like I'm degrading myself and not improving. And to answer your question,
> it's been months since I had sex with somebody. I think more and more
> about it. It must come from my training. Should I try more to look for
> getting my holes used? I know I'm a cunt but part of me still resists.
Good to hear from you so promptly cunt. In regards to the piss...good boy. It is easy to please me most of the time. In regards to jacking off....I told you that the physical torture would be in lieu of some of the other tasks you currently do, but it WILL be one or the other. For now you can reduce to five times a day for a short time period. I will let you know when to increase it again. Right now here is what I want you to do : every day, just before going to sleep, suck on your dildo for 30 minutes nonstop. Do it only with your mouth, no hands on the dildo, don't touch your cock either. Do it for 30 minutes, then you can drink your last glass of piss and go to sleep. Understand bitch ?
The pain is necessary because seeing you inflict it on yourself pleases me. I love watching the clip of you putting the cigarette out on your balls for no other reason than to please me. Your anxiety and shame are natural. Worried about what you are becoming? You are becoming what you need to be and that should bring you joy on a lot of levels. I wish I were there I would be able to hold you and rub your head and show you the positive side
of your efforts to please me. You will see my point when you find a real Master and begin pleasing Him with what you have learned here.Step up your efforts to find men to use your mouth and cunt. Make sure you take the cum he gives you and thank him for it. Offer to drink his piss if he wants you to. You must not only suppress but you must kill the part of
you that still resists bitch. Silence it. I am working on your next task.
Hello cunt. I have been thinking of some new tasks. For the next 24 hours I want you to jack off into a shot glass or small similar container. Refrigerate it if you want but it should not be necessary. At the end of the day before you go to bed drink/eat it. All of it.
Also, I want you to back your rectum onto a doorknob and jack off until you cum. Use lots of lube. Full fucking yourself on the knob...all the way on and all the way off until your worthless dick pukes your scum up so you can eat it.
For the short term you can stop cooking with piss. Still have to drink some daily though and eat your special Sunday meal. And of course your submissiveness must still be made obvious to Alphas.
M
I'm sorry, I don't want to discuss your orders but the knobs on my doors are round and quite big, I don't think I can put one in my ass and even if I could it's not a good shape to fuck myself on it (they are like a mushroom if you see what I mean). As for drinking my cum, it's not a problem, I already drink my cum when I jerk off and I've always been doing that. But I'm concerned about my ass, I can't stretch it much, I'm not used to taking stuff as big as that. Thank you for allowing me some time off with the piss. I'll continue to drink some twice a day and eat my special meal on Sunday. But please let me know what I should do with the doorknob task.
The idea behind the doorknobs is two fold. The first one is it is
large...meant to train your cunt to open up for just about anything. It is time to work on your cunt for real. In a few weeks we'll start a new training with dildos. Don't worry cunt, I know you won't buy things. That's why I've decided I will buy dildos for you. I want you to go on this website : www.bigdongs.de. Choose 2 toys from the dildo section and 1 from the plug section. I want to see what you would choose. Of course, anything too small will not be considered. Be creative, try to please me. I don't think your ass is that tight right now. Of course it needs training to be able to take a fist. But we'll work on it. I also noticed a few months ago during a dildo session that your ass tends to prolapse a little. We'll make sure to develop that. A prolapsed ass is the mark of a true cunt.
As for the doorknob, the second thing is the shape...it is meant to hurt...just enough. I want you to struggle a bit to comply with these orders..if it is too easy then it is
meaningless. If the doorknobs are impossible then I will find another
household item but don't expect it to be easy.You asked if you should increase your efforts to get fucked (See quoted text)" Should I try more to look for getting my holes used?" so do what comes naturally to you. Use the net if that is your normal hunting ground
or hang out in cruisy men's rooms.As for offering to drink piss. You can wait for him to give it if that seems appropriate but you will find that offering it will come naturally to
you after a while and most Alphas will really like hearing you say it.Quit with the doubt shit you fucking worthless faggot cum dump. You have it in you to be an outstanding cuntboy for a lucky Alpha and I am determined to bring out the bitch boy in you. Get on with it cunt.
M
I did what you asked with the door knob. I really couldn't take it at
>first. I had to open up my cunt a lot with my fingers and then force myself on the knob and then it finally poped in. It was painful at first and I bled a little, but then my cunt got used to it. So I was able to fuck myself on it. My feeling was weird, I felt like an animal who had to get something up its cunt whatever it was. It's really sick, who would do
> that ? Fuck himself on a door knob just get its cunt filled. The worst is I have to admit at the end I quite liked it. Sometimes I come to think I should just abandon using my dick and use my cunt instead, I don't think I can do it though, I'm so used to jerk off.
i have one question : what do you mean by prolpapsed ass ? i'm not sure i understand.
So, now you know that there is method to my demands of you eric. I am really very pleased with you cumdump boy. Now let's try some absolute obedience. You may only cum if the doorknob is up your ass or I give you a specific task to perform that precludes the doorknob being practicable. Do you understand? EVERYTIME YOU WANT TO CUM THE DOORKNOB MUST BE UP YOUR CUNT. No doorknob then no getting off. That means five times a day for now. This should not be that hard right now as you are on holidays. It becomes easier as you are learning cunt.
A prolpased ass is also sometimes called "rosebud". It is a sign that your ass is used hard and regularly. It's as if the inside of your ass was coming out of it. Don't worry it is not dangerous, nor is it painful. But the result for the Alpha man who is using your hole is amazing. Right now you have a very small rosebud but it is a good start. Somme cunt don't have any and then it askes for a lot of work to get it out (if it ever comes out). So be glad to have one already. Once we've started with the dildos and your ass gets more streetched, we'll plan some rosebud training. Basically, you'll have to open your cunt and push, like when you're shiting. But when you do it long and hard enough, the rosebud will come out and with time will expand. But first thing first. I'm still waiting for your dildos selection. Send it to me quickly so we can start your training soon.
M
Here is the end of my story. i don't have the emails that followed. My training lasted for about six months after that and then our relationship stopped. i'm still not sure how and why. Maybe the distance is makes a relationship impossible. i stil think a lot of this period of my life. i've had some oter Masters. Most of them online relationship. But it never lasted as long as this one. And it was never as intense either. i'm still looking from time to time but i'm starting to think that it was this kind of relationship and bound that happens only once in a lifetime.
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