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Here is the story of 1 year of my life as a cyberslave. It was a very intense relationship which ended unfortunately. About 3 years later, I still think about it and if I share this story today it’s because I hope some readers might take interest in me and maybe become my cybermaster.
A few years ago, i posted an ad on the internet. It was saying:
"19yo boy looking for pain and humiliation. Send me your request of what
disgusting or painful stuff I should do to x10x10@hotmail.com. I'll do
it and then send you pictures or a video".
I received quite a few replies. Things like this:
« Damn I just can not resist such a challenge. Things I would like to see you do:
1. Get your cock hard and then hold your piss slit open and drop in 6
drops of tobasco
2. Using a G clamp on your left Nut lift a 5 pound weight with the clamp
and hold it suspended. If the clamp falls off it was obviously not
tight enough
3. Go into a chat room and piss all over your face on cam.
4. Scrub the inside of your asshole with your toothbrush (make sure you
clean it all) then clean your teeth with it.
That will do for now « :) »
or
“Saw your post above on newsgroups. I'm keen to test your limits. I'll send you one instruction at a time and when you get back to me I'll follow with another.
First, get a 1 metre plastic tube and a funnell, then get naked. Then I would like to see you lie on a bed with your head on the floor. Place one end of the tube in your mouth and attach the tube to the funnel. Piss (and save up to do this) directly into the funnel and let the fluid run directly into your mouth and stomach. Don't spill a drop so take it easy. Finished - lick the funnell clean. Very simple task to start with - love a couple pictures and describe the taste and colour of your piss. This task is best done with your first piss of the day - more flavour. Hear from you and I'll follow with another more discusting/humilating task.”
I received a few tasks, did them but it never folloed by a real relationship. Until I received this email :
“Hey pig boy. I want to see a pic or video of you pissing all over a bowl of cereal and then eating it...to include drinking the residue from the bowl.”
Nothing really new. So I did it, sent my video, and received another email.
“Good boy. You are a good pig. If I were there I would pat you on the head and praise you...then I would torment you some more. Here is your next assignment bitch....
I want you to insert a dildo (you can substitute another inanimate object if you don't own a good sized dildo) into your fuck hole. Do it when you have to shit. Insert it deep enough that it gets dirty...real dirty. Yep you guessed it fuck face...lick the dildo clean. Do not let any escape your mouth...swallow all your mud.
If you do well I will have more torture for you.”
I have to say that at this moment I started to feel there was something different with him, I liked the way He was talking to me and thought that He could well become my Master. But it was yet too soon to be sure. This followed :
“you are a good pigboy. you did exactly what I expected. I am very proud of you. I want you to tell me about yourself. Age? Location (don't worry I won't stalk you) and availablility of others to take part in your torture. I also want to know what your average day is like. For instance do you work or go to school and if so for how long each day. This information will aid me in devising tortures for you that last longer and take a certain level of commitment from you. Have you ever been truly tortured by a Master and if so do you have video of it? I would like to see it if you do. Answer my questions and then you will receive your next torture. you are doing very well. Stop capitalizing I and me. you are doing a great job of submitting. Embrace it totally pig. Captial letters are for Alpha males. Pigs like you only get lower case letters in referring to themselves.
I have an assignment for you. I want to see you whipped with a belt....I mean WHIPPED. Red assed is good....welts are better. Do you have someone who can do it for you? If not I will come up with an assignment for you that is solo.
i'm 19yo and live in Paris, France. i live in an apartment i share with 2 other people who have no idea i am a pigboy which sometimes impose restrictions to what i can do. i am still a student. i go to college every day. Schedule changes but it's usually 9am to 5pm. i regularly receive emails from people who want to see me do things. Sometimes i really can't do it (like putting needles in my balls or putting my hands in boiling water) but most of the time i manage to force myself. Little by little i learn to take more. What i have to do vary a lot. Some people want me to become a professional cocksucker, others want me to evolve as a permanent toilet, others just want to see me get pain, others want me to focus on specific part of my body like balls, throat, pisshole etc. Until now i only did selftorture. i don't have a Master. The closest i had from a Master was a guy who followed me during nearly a month (through emails) and gave me a tough schedule with things to do every day. i am not in contact with him anymore.
Good pig. You followed my instructions very well. I noticed you stopped
using upper case letters when referring to yourself. Know your place bitch. It is good to know your circumstances. I don't want to give you impossible tasks to do. Now that I know more I will devise tortures that are doable and that still please me. I want to see that they are difficult for you to do. I will enjoy the pained expressions on your face. I am interested in almost all of the things that you mentioned....I have already enjoyed seeing you used as a toilet. You probably will get a lot of piss related assignments since it is easy to do alone and videotape. If you have other video clips of you doing other tortures...send them to me. It will give me a lot of pleasure.
For your next assignment I want you to put out a lit cigarette on your
balls. If you cant force yourself to do it I want to at least see you
trying to....it is okay to be scared...I want you to be scared. It will
hurt for a day then it will go away. If you can eat your own shit (I was
proud of you) you can do this.
I am attaching a photo of myself so you can see who you are serving.
M
>i did what you asked for. i admit it was very difficult, at least as
> difficult as the first time i was asked to swallow shit. i really panicked when i received your email. i have once been asked to burn my foreskin with a cigarette and, even though i tried hard, i was not able to do it. It was nearly two months ago, so the fact that i managed to burn my balls today means i am more conscious of where i belong. i should not expect to have the same life as other teenagers my age, i'm here to get hurt and to please those who want me to get hurt and degradated.
> Thank you for helping me to accept that.
GOOD boy. I am proud of you. You are truly a piece of shit for me to
abuse. I am really happy with you today. Not all of your tasks will be
this difficult, but it is good for you to be kept in your place at the very
bottom of the food chain. You are bellow the fucking family dog and as soon as you accept that fully you will find inner peace.
Your next assignment is to go to a public restroom facility and video or
photograph yourself licking piss from a toilet seat or a urinal. I want to
see your tongue pressed flat and hard against the porcelain.
By the way....how do your balls feel? LOL. Fucking bitch.
M
> i'm sorry but i don't own a camera. i just use my webcam to take pictures or videos.
Not a problem boy. Seriously, I want to know how your scrotum feels now.
Does it still hurt? Describe for me what it was like for you to obey my
desire to have you torture yourself. Imagine how much more satisfying it
would be for you to have a Master who abused you and beat you and then
allowed you to sit at his feet with your head on his knee while he stroked
your hair.
This assignment is easy....no more furniture for you. By that I mean for
the next week you sleep on the floor, eat on the floor and engage in any
leisure activities without sitting on the furniture of your apartment.
When at school you may sit on a chair while in class but that is it. You
are lower than a pet dog (do you have a dog?) and will be treated
accordingly.
I expect to hear from you soon with an essay on why you are a worthless
piece of shit and why you are unworthy of humane treatment.
M
my balls still hurt badly. It's still burned deep and small blisters appeared around the burning. i understand i deserved it. i know i need to hurt my cock and balls because it's the only way for me to use them, i can't use them to fuck because only real men can do that. my cock and balls are worthless as i am. the only sexual intercourse i can be involved in is to suck cocks and take cocks up the ass, not to receive pleasure but to please others. i am a worthless piece of shit, i shouldn't be allowed to eat valued food but should be thankfull to eat dog food and piss and shit because i don't deserve more. i shouldn't complaint that i'm not happy because i don't deserve happiness. When i'm asked to hurt myself i should always say thank you because it helps me understand my true condition. i'm here to please the men who are kind enough to take some time to write to me. i should feel lucky they keep on writing to such a piece of shit like me and should encourage them to be less nice with me because i'm not a normal teenage boy and though shouldn't be treated like one.
It sounds like you are getting your mind right pig. I enjoyed watching you
put that cigarette out on your balls. I laughed. Too bad I could not hear
your cries and see the look on your face. I noticed some hair on your balls and crotch. Shave it. Pubic hair is for men.
I want you to take a piece of dry toast and spread some of your shit on it
like peanut butter. Then I want you to jack off on it and mix your sperm
into the shit. You guessed it fuck face....eat it. The challenge with this is that you will have just cum and will not be horny so it will test your commitment to your status.
M
I have not heard from you in a while bitch boy. Am I being too hard on you? Is your scrotum healing? Write back and tell me your first name. I also want to know what event(s) in your life have brought you to this point of self realization. When did you first realize that you were less than most men? Actually, you are less than most animated life forms. Take a few minutes to write to me. Tell me about your life so that I can more fully appreciate and enjoy abusing your worthless body. You understand, I am sure, that you must continue to earn my attention.
M
i'm sorry i didn't answer before but i had a very busy week and also other orders to follow that took some time. i still didn't eat the bread with shit and cum but i slept on the floor as you asked until last Sunday. It was kind of difficult even during the last days.
my first name is eric. i realized i was worth nothing nearly a year ago. i was dating a guy who was quite hard with me and when he saw i was submissive he acted even harder with me. It's him who posted the ads on the internet to ask for people to abuse me, he said i was made to serve and to be hurt. I don't see him anymore because he moved but he told me he would keep an eye on me, and i know he might be one of the people who send me email orders. my scrotum is nearly completely healed.
I accept your apology and of course I understand that you have a life to lead as well. Not even the best pig can avoid the day to day tasks that require interaction with the real world. That being said, I also hope that being relegated to the floor helped keep your place in the world in perspective for you. Pain free days of pleasure and respect are for others....NOT FOR YOU. You owe a real debt to the Alpha male who first instructed you. He did a good job.
I would like to see the video clips you make for others as well. It amuses me to see your humiliation...your tears would be even better. Now get busy and eat the shitcum sandwich fuck face.
M
Here is the clip.
i don't keep the old ones, i just send them as a proof i did what i wasasked to.
you fucking worthless piece of shit...I guess you are what you eat pig. The look on your cuntish face was great. Did you puke pig? I wish I was close enough to you to administer a sound beating you fucking cunt.
I will come up with some additional tasks for you and email them to you soon.
Good cunt boy.
M
Here is your next torture eric. I noticed your worthless dick is uncut. Don't worry pussy boy I am not going to make you cut it....lol...would be cool but I have something else in mind. Do you know what an alligator clip is? It is a small clip used by electicians that has alligator like teeth clamped by a small but strong spring mechanism. They are small and can be
purchased in the electrical section of any hardware store. Get four of an appropriate size. I want you to clip them to the end of your forskin firmly with all teeth engaged. Half the teeth insed the forskin and half out. One on the top one on the bottom and one for each side. I want you to go about your normal day. The torture will be distracting but not unbarable. The trauma to your tissue will be minor. It should be interesting to see the result to your worthless dick at the end of the day. Is there any way that you can include audio on your clips? What a kick it would be to hear your pitiful whimpering bitch.
M
When i'm asked to buy specific tools, i have to decline. A lot of people
ask me that and i can't do it for everybody so i don't do it at all. And
even though 4 alligator clips is not very expensive, it's not very cheap either for me.
Plus, i know it's not your problem but my foreskin is very sensitive and i honestly don't think i can put 4 alligator clips on it and keep them for a day.
i am sorry.
That is disappointing indeed. I can understand the not wanting to have to
purchase items though. I dispprove of your whining about your sensitive foreskin though bitch. Pain is your lot in life and you need to embrace it. You are doing very well overall though eric. You seem to do better with the piss and shit related assignments so here is one for you. Piss into a clear glass or plastic drinking glass. Take your shit and mix it in using enough to give the mixture the consistency of a milk shake. At this point you have a choice....you can drink it down (have a bucket handy in case you puke fuck face) or you can make pasta and pour it over the top like sauce. Eat it all or drink it all cunt. Your choice. Choice is good isn't it eric? lol
M
i'm confused. i don't know if i should keep on doing all this because i think i'm loosing control over it. i'm always afraid of the next
assignement i will receive because i know it will be difficult and i'll be in pain but at the same time i know i deserve it, i can't keep my mind away from this and it's like my all life is turning around this. Like shit for example, i hate it, i really do. i don't know why but everybody seems to want to see me eat shit. Just last week i had to eat shit 3 times in different ways. i ended up with diarrhea and to have to eat the shit i had already eaten. i don't think i can keep on like this. Even the days i have nothing to do, i am in pain from previous abuses. It's either my urethra that burns or my nipples that are swollen and irritated or my balls like when you told me to put out that cigarette on them, the pain lasted for a long time. i know that i can take more pain now than before and that it's only by getting more pain that i will learn to take even more, that i should see that as a training, but.. i don't know, it hurts. And even if i learn to take more, the assignements always seem to get harder and harder,
so it's not even easier for me. i know i don't worth much and that at
least i make some people happy but sometimes i wish they would be less
hard on me. i can understand that some people want me to put some weights on my balls but what about hitting my fingers with a hammer on purpose? or doing an enema with icy water? this really hurts and it's very difficult to do. As when you asked me to put these clamps on my foreskin and to keep them the whole day. i didn't have the clamps but even if i had, i don't know how long i could have kept them on. My foreskin was already very sore and irritated because i had to scrub it with sand paper a few days before and i really paniked when i saw i had to work on it even more. i have to think more. i don't know what i should do. Thank you for your understanding.
Wow. You have a lot on your plate eric. Let me see if I can help you with some of this. First of all, a good Master must look out for the welfare of his slave and while you are not technically mine (you seem to belong to many) I do feel a true affection for you and your dedication to your place in the world. That being said, I think we can agree on a couple of points. First, shit tastes awful. If it tasted good any cunt boy could eat it and would. What makes you exceptional is that you do eat shit when you are instructed to. There is a saying that no man can serve two Masters. What you are experiencing now is a symptom of trying to serve everyone. You are correct in stating that you probably can't continue on like this. You
should also realize that when I or for that matter any other dominant Alpha male give you tasks we are unaware that you have already had to eat shit two other times. Of the tasks that I have given you though, you seem the most adept at being a human toilet. It is interesting to me to hear of some of the other tortures that were devised for you. It bothers me that some have asked you to do things that have the potential to cause you real and lasting damage....like hitting your fingers with a hammer....in my opinion that was unreasonable and you should not do it unless you really want to and then...have at it. My tortures are calculated to be truly difficult but not permantly harmful. It is actually quite a turn on to read the torment in your message and it makes me want to wrap you into my arms and hold you until you are calm and ready for my abuse. One thing is certain, you will not achieve contentment until you have one permanent owner to serve and suffer for. In the mean time you should consider bundling demands to please more than one Master. For instance I would have been pretty happy if you would have declined the alligator clip demand but offered up a video of you scrubbing your cock with sandpaper as an alternative. So let me assure you that you are a worthless, cuntface, bitch as you know, but a good Master should always be looking out for you as well as keeping you in your place.
It is up to the strong to both dominate and protect the slaves. You say you are losing control...you never had it and you never will. You don't deserve control, you deserve to be controlled. Accept it. Embrace it. The journey to total surrender has started and you will never be content or happy if you start resisting now. So, eric, take my suggestions. If you get multiple directives to eat shit...devise a way to eat it once and cc the Tops together. If you get a demand to break a bone or cut or disfigure yourself permanently then realize that the requester does not know what he/she is doing. If you want, you can seek permission from another Alpha male to disregard the instruction which relieves you of the need to stand up to or argue with one of your betters. Maybe you should chose one temporary Master to filter the requests and tell you which ones to perform and which ones you may not perform. Other Top/Alphas will nderstand if you tell them that your Sir refused to let you do it. Eventually you will find the one Master who you will totally surrender to. He is the one who will put his brand on you, In the meantime I am proud to be one of your tormentors.
M
Thank you, your message was very helpful. It's starting to get clearer in my head. i will eat that piss and shit shake as soon as i can for you. But probably not before 10 days from now because one of my roommates is in holiday and will stay here and playing with shit is not really possible when somebody is in the apartment (smell). In the meantime tell me if you want me to hurt myself, i am ready to get hard pain, i will be glad to do it for you because you helped me. Thanks again very much.
I'm glad I was able to help you. You can write to me anytime and let me know what is on your mind. The better I get to know you the better I can use you. I have some basic activities for you that will help to keep your mind right.
1. You are to drink at least 8 ounces of piss each day.
2. If you masturbate you MUST eat your cum. No exceptions to this.
3. Sleep naked. No exceptions to this either. No whining. Just do it. If you must sleep in a room with others...oh well, find a way to be naked when you sleep.
4. No underwear. The choice of wearing underwear is for people with the freedom to choose. That is NOT you eric. If it is embarrassing for you...all the better.
5. When in the presence of Alpha males you are to keep your head
inclined toward the floor and not make eye contact with them. You will know who they are. If I owned you I would not allow you to look anyone in the eye unless I released you to do so. In this situation you are on the honor system.
6. Finally, any man who wants to fuck you or put his cock in your mouth you are to accommodate immediately and without question. This is important eric....you are to submit and take their cocks to include taking their cum and piss if they please. You have no choice in this eric. It is your place in this world to be a cum/piss dump. If a man asks you if he needs a condom you are to leave it completely up to him...why.....because you have no freedom of choice. Submit completely. This goes for any fantasy they may have for you bitch. You are lower than a pet dog. In fact you are not permitted to look any male dog that still has its balls in the eye. That dog is your better and you need to communicate submission to it by body
language.I want a response from you on this bitch. I want you to write back and tell me you accept these simple rules to live by. Be honest, but your surrender must be complete.
Finally, here is your task. I want you to take a Q-tip and lubricate one end with a lube of your choice. KY works well for this. Insert the lubricated end into your piss slit and push it in until the only the dry end is protruding from your slit. Fuck it in and out about 6 to 10 times leaving it inserted. Dress and go about your business seeing how long you can leave it in. When you take it out I want you to be on video again.
Communicate to me on the video someway how long you were able to stand it. Yank it out. I mean it eric...YANK it out. For about 12 to 24 hours it will burn a bit when you piss. Everytime you feel that burning I want you to say "Thank you Master Mike for teaching me my place." The burning sensation will subside and you will not have hurt yourself. This is an easy one eric. Don't let me down.
(to be continued)
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