BDSM Library - Jean's Past

Jean's Past

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Synopsis: Jean confronts her past.

Jean's Past

I'm kneeling at the door hands clasped behind my back, eyes cast down just the way Master expects me to be when he gets home.

As soon as Master walks in the door, I could tell that something was on his mind. Normally when Master comes home he greets me tenderly, but today he just impatiently ordered, “Follow.” Starting to get worried, I follow with a shaky “Yes Master.”

I follow him into our bedroom where he has me kneel at the foot of the bed. With me kneeling obediently, he walks out of the room. A few minutes later, he comes back into the room with a box. I just stare at him like an idiot as he hands me the box. Sweetly he reaches down and guides me to my feet as he says, “Go ahead and open it, my sweet.”

Carefully I place the box on the bed and remove the lid. Inside the box, I see the most beautiful black dress of my life. Looking up from the dress, I start crying.

Surprised by my reaction he asked, “Sweetie is there something wrong?”

Sniffling I stutter, “N-no M-master, it's just the most beautiful dress I've ever seen.”

Smiling he hugs me and wipes away my tears saying, “It would look even better on you sweetie. Now go get dressed while I change.”

Not wanting to damage the dress I slowly pull the dress on. It's a short black dress with a low-neck like showing off my full breasts. Next I pull on my stockings and slip on my black high heels. Once I'm finished getting dressed I sit on the edge of the bed to wait for Master not wanting to wrinkle my dress.

My breath catches as I watch him walk out of the bathroom. He was so handsome dressed in a black silk shirt and black slacks. Giving me a kiss he says, “You look very beautiful, sweetie. I want you to put your hair up in a bun tonight I don't want it getting in your face.” Without hesitation I put my hair up into a bun.

After putting my hair up we head to the car and I tentatively ask, “Where are we going, Master?”

Helping me into the car he said, “It's a surprise my sweet.”

Knowing that any more questions about where we are going would only make him mad at me so I figured it would be safer to talk about his day. So I asked, “How was your day Master?”

“It was good, but the best part was buying that dress for you.”

“If your day was good then, why did you look upset when you got home today Master?”

“Because I wanted everything about tonight to be a surprise and if I walked in with a huge grin on my face you would've guessed that I had something special for you. Now enough about my day, have you talked to your parents recently?”

Looking out my window I say, “I haven't talked with my mother, but I have talked to my dad.”

“And why haven't you talked with her?” he asked me sternly.

“Because the last time we talked was when I told her that I was moving in with you and she blew a gasket.”

Glancing at me he said, “You mean she still doesn't know that we're married?”

“No Master she doesn't know that we're married.” as I say this I can tell that he wasn't happy with my answer.

Suppressing his anger he says, “Don't wait till it's too late to talk to her again Jean.”

Clenching my teeth I say, “I don't care if I ever talk to her again.”

I could tell I went too far because he pulled over and grabbed me by the arm and said, “Don't ever say that. One of these days you're going to want to talk to her about something and for one reason or another she won't be there to talk to.”

Looking back out the window I don't say anything not wanting to admit that he's right. Knowing that I was going to be stubborn and say nothing he tightens his grip on my arm and orders, “Look at me.”

Turning to look at him I can see disappointment in his eyes at my stubbornness. Seeing his disappointment made swallow my pride and admit that I will one day regret talking to her now. So I say, “Your right Master. I shouldn't wait till it's too late to talk to my mother again.”

Releasing my arm he smiles and says, “Now that wasn't so difficult was it?”

Shaking my head I say, “No Master.”

Kissing me passionately he pulls back into traffic. Five minutes later we arrive at his intended destination. As he pulls into the drive way I recognize where were at.

Turning to look at Master I tentatively ask, “We're going to Doris's place?”

Grinning boyishly he says, “Yes, Doris and I have been planning this night for you for the last few weeks.” Hearing this I practically jump into his lap as I kiss him. He knows that I love spending time with Doris. She always knows how to brighten my day.

As we walk to the door I can't keep my excitement contained and I gently skip all the way to the door. Master rang the bell and as we wait for the door to be answered he lightly puts a hand on my shoulder to settle me down. When the door opened I got quite a shock. Standing in front of us was a naked woman.

In a soft voice the woman says, “Mistress Doris is in her study.”

Walking to her study I shake my head thinking ‘That's the first time she's ever had one of her slaves open the door naked. That must mean that Master and her have some kind of bondage scene planned for tonight. Oh goody I can't wait.” As we walk into the room I look around. On the right the wall is covered in books. Directly in front of us is her desk. On the left there is a couch and armchair set. Master and Doris sit on the couch while I sit in the armchair facing the door.

We spend the next 20 minutes catching up on everything that's been happening. Then Doris mischievously asks, “Do you know why Jarod brought you here tonight Jean?”

Looking at them suspiciously I say, “No.”

Surprised by my answer Doris looks at master and asks, “Should I tell her or do you want to?”

Smiling he says, “It was your idea you tell her.”

“Sure, but before I explain about tonight's plans, Jean I want you to meet someone.” As she said this she rang a bell that I hadn't noticed earlier. The same woman from earlier came in dragging another girl that looked to be about my age. The girl's arms were bound behind her back and she had a huge red ball gag firmly strapped into her mouth. I could tell that she was trying to scream, but all you could hear was moaning coming from behind the gag. She was forced to kneel next to Doris.

Continuing Doris says, “Jean tonight Jarod and I have decided that you are to refer to me as Mistress. The reason for this being is we want you to show this slut how a good slave behaves.”

Murmuring I say, “Yes Mistress. Throughout her explanation I kept staring at the girl. There was something very familiar about her. Looking at both of them I ask, “Master, Mistress may I ask a question?”

In unison they both say, “Sure.”

“Who is she? She looks familiar to me.”

Slightly surprised Mistress says, “I'm surprised you don't recognize her. You remember the school bully that used to mess with you when you were growing up. Well this is her, AJ.”

As her words sink in I go completely numb. My first instinct is to run and that's exactly what I do. As fast as I can I jump out of my seat and start running through the house. Just as I'm about to go through the door I hear Master yelling at me to stop. I ignore him as I go running through the door only to trip partway down the drive way. I don't bother to get up and continue my flight I just lay there crying wishing I could disappear off the face of the planet.

Sensing someone behind me I become quiet afraid that my crying would piss the person off behind me. A few minutes later I'm roughly pulled to my feet by my arm. Terrified I look up to see who has a hold of my arm. What I see confirms my fears and I start stammering, “I I didn't mean…I I'm sorry…P-please…N-no please…I didn't mean.”

Seeing a hand flying towards me I instantly quiet down. In mid swing the hand drops. I am then lead back into the house. Not caring where I'm being lead to all I can think is that ‘I wish that Master was here.' I'm so caught up in my fear that I don't even realize that we had entered the house again.

Seeing Doris I realize that I'm safe and nothing bad is going to happen I nearly collapse in relief. The only thing keeping me from collapsing to the ground is the hand that has a hold of my arm. Looking up to see who has me I cry out in relief when I see that it's Master. Seeing recognition in my eyes he pulls me into a tight comforting embrace. Still holding me close he asks, “What's wrong? Why'd you run from me, my sweet slave?”

Staying as close to Master as possible I remain silent. Doris still mad that I ran like I had grabs me by the arm and forces me to look at her. Looking me in the eyes she says, “Answer his question, now?”

Scared I start mumble, “I c-can't. She said that if I ever told she'd k-kill me.”

Master showing more concern than I have ever heard or seen asks, “Who'll kill you?”

Afraid of answering him I look towards the study not wanting to see the worry in his eyes that I know is there. Where I see AJ tied and gagged. Master gently takes hold of my chin and forces me to look at him and asks, “Does this have anything to do with AL?”

Slowly I nod. With my confirmation of his suspicion I can see his expression change from worry to anger. Seeing his anger I cringe away thinking he's angry at me. But he only gently pushes me into Doris's arms then goes storming into the study. Doris pulls me along into the study following Master.

As we enter the study we see Master standing over AJ as she cowering on the ground trying to get away from him. Yanking the gag out of her mouth he yells at her asking, “What the hell did you do to her?”

Seeing us approach sneering AJ says, “Nothing she didn't deserve.”

Hearing her answer sets me off and I start screaming, “Deserve. Did I deserve to be beaten, made into a slave, and raped? What did I do to deserve all of that hell?”

With detest she spat, “You were born.”

Stunned I collapse to the couch as her statement sinks in. Then as if in slow motion I watch as she falls to the floor blood dripping from her lip.

Feeling someone touching my leg I look up to see who it is. It's the one person I wish was anywhere but here. It was my Master. I didn't want him to learn about my past, about AJ, about why I'm the way I am. If he knew he would leave me. This all goes flying through my mind as I look into his eyes searching for the rejection that I know is coming. Only it never comes. Instead he pulls me into his arms hugging me tenderly.

Trying to comfort me he whispers, “I know what you're thinking, that I'm going to reject you once I learn about your past, but you're wrong. Knowing about your past could only make me lover you more my sweet slave. Not only do you deserve to be here, but you make me whole. Do you believe me when I tell you that you not only deserve to be here but have every right to?”

Looking into his eyes I could see that he truly believes what he was saying. So I nod and mumble, “Yes Master.”

Feeling a light touch on my arm I jump with a start only to realize that it was Doris. I had completely forgotten that she was here. Looking up into her eyes I could tell that she held the same belief as Master. Giving me a reassuring hug I could feel the love that both Master and Doris felt for me. Relaxing into the feel of both of them I say “I do deserve to be here.”

Getting my attention Master asks, “What did AJ do to you that has you so afraid that you'd run from me? That has you crying with so much pain that I feel completely helpless to help you?”

Tears starting to fall I ask, “Master why do you have to know?”

“Well my sweet slave I have to know because I love you and until you tell me what happened I will have no way to help you. The thought that you're in so much pain and I have no way to help you frightens me terribly.”

Hearing that I realize that he needs to know and that by my not telling him I'm doing him a great disservice. He needs to know why I hurt so much and why I'm afraid that he'd leave me.

Taking a deep breath I exhale trying to push out all my worries and fears. With the exhalation of my fears and worries I start my story, “Everything started when I was a baby. My parents decided that they wanted to go on a trip around the world and having a baby would just interfere with all of their plans. They found a daycare provider named Carole that would be willing to watch me for the length of their trip. Even once they got back from their trip they didn't have me stop going to her house everyday.

“My first memory is from when I was about 5. We were in the garage and she was standing over me telling me that from this day forward I was to call her Ma'am unless there was anyone but her family there then I had to call her Aunt Carole. Anytime I disobeyed her she would spank me. But it didn't matter whether I obeyed her or not she would find a reason to spank me anyways. On nights that my parents would have me spending the night at her house she would spank me long and hard. Leaving me in pain and bruised. Things continued in this fashion until I was 8 and then she told me that I was not big enough to start doing work around the house. I was forced to pick up all the dirty laundry, and put away all of the clean dishes. If I forgot to pick something up or put the dishes away in the wrong places I would get a spanking. I would also get a spanking if I broke any of the dishes while I put them away.

“At about the age of 10 she decided that her daughter, AJ a year older than me was old enough to start taking part in my training as she called it. This is also when she told me that from then on I would be her salve and that any order from her daughter was to be obeyed without question. From then on I was to call her Mistress and AJ ma'am. I know did all the chores along with taking care of all of the other kids she was supposed to be taking care of. If any of the kids got into trouble I would be punished along with any punishment I would receive for not doing something.

“As my elementary school graduation came closer I started to have hope that I was finally going to be free form my nightmare. I was wrong. Mistress talked to my parents telling them that I had come to her saying that I didn't want to stop coming to her house once I started middle school. That I wanted to keep coming to her house to play with all the other kids. To encourage my parents to make the decision to let me keep coming she told them that they would no longer have to pay her. My parents readily agreed because they didn't want to have to deal with me.

“Things continued in the same manner until my 15 th birthday when Mistress decided that I no longer deserved to be a virgin any more. She had several men there that were willing to pay to have sex with me. She told them that if I didn't please them that I would get the whipping of my life. From then on she would have men coming several times during the month to have sex with me. At the end of each session with the men she would whip me calling me a slut and a whore. Through all of this you have to understand she was constantly telling me that if I ever told anyone what she was doing to me she would hunt me down and kill me.

“Finally at the age of 17 when I was on one of my rare trips home to see my parents I decided that I had had enough of her so I ran away. After I ran away I found a job and work hard to make a life for myself. AT 17½ I was able to start college. That's when I meet Doris and from there you know the rest of my story Master.”

With the completion of my story I look into Master's eyes to see his reaction. The look that meets me is one of pure anguish at all I had to live through. I was completely startled by his reaction. I was sure that he would leave me. Instead he pulls me into his arms saying, “My poor baby. I had no idea. You're safe now. I won't ever let anything hurt you like that again.”

Hearing his reassurance releases the floodgates with in me and I start crying for all those years of pain that I had kept locked up with in me. Calming down I pull away enough to look up into Master's eyes. They are the same as I have always known them to be. Filled with love and compassion for me. At that moment looking up at him I can feel all that love washing over me washing away all the years of pain and sorrow that I had locked up. At that moment I knew with all my heart that Master's love for me could never be taken away by something that I couldn't control.

Mustering as much courage as I can I look over to AJ and in the strongest surest voice I have I say, “You're wrong. I didn't deserve a dame thing you and your mother did to me.” Both Master and Doris nod in agreement.

Giving me a quick hug Doris says, “I think its time we dealt with this bitch. Don't you agree Jarod?”

Yes I quite agree.

Looking to me Doris asks, “Do you want be involved in her punishment or do you just want to sit back and watch?”

Leaning in closer to Master I tentatively ask, “Can we please just go home? I don't want to be anywhere near her right now. Master I just want to be alone with you right now snuggled into your safe strong arms. Please Master.”

Laughing softly he says, “Of course my sweet. What ever you want. Maybe another day you will be able to pay her back for all that she put you through.”

To Doris I say, “I'm sorry Mistress. I just can't handle being around her anymore tonight.”

Laughing she hugs me and says, “No problem sweetie. When ever you are ready to confront her she'll be here waiting for you.”

With that settled Master takes me home to the one place I know I will always belong.

The End

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